A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Good advise needed... Please...

Post 121

Orcus

Sorry, but I have to agree with Zorpheus there. Don't hang about, its waste of time that you will only regret...


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Post 122

Bob Gone for good read the jornal

it is easy to say that when you arnt the one doing the asking though isnt it!!
I mean there is a deep rooted fear of rejection in the human physichie, that and the fear of change, alot of the time without realising it you dont want to ask because you are scerd the whole realtionship might change and you like it (more or less) the way it is sorry just been studdying physocolagy agine and I usually come out with that sort of crap smiley - tongueout

dosent make it any less the truth though!!


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Post 123

Orcus

Read the backlog, I speak from experience of a highly similar situation. smiley - smiley


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Post 124

Bob Gone for good read the jornal

you expect me to read the backlog..but that takes effort smiley - winkeye
(ime right on it smiley - biggrin)


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Post 125

a girl called Ben

Dax, how often to you see him? Are we talking every weekend here, or just once in a while?

agcB


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Post 126

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

agcB - No, I don´t see him every weekend... Usually it´s when we have work to do or new Buffy & Angel episodes to watch, or both actually...

But at least once a month we see each other, and we talk almost every day...

Zorpheus - First of all, there is no way he would even have time to meet someone else. And even if he did, he would never have the kind of connection with her that he does with me.
And that you Bob for understanding how I feel... because even though we have this amazing connection, I´m still afraid he might reject me, and that it will change what we have...

Last night, we actually talked on the phone for 3½ hours straight and continued our little "let´s share everything" game. And I actually told him that I once had a dream about him kissing me, and he said that he was cool with it, not freaked at all. He was actually flattered, because I told that I had the dream twice...
So, now I am actually one step closer once again. Because I also told him that I had fantasised about kissing him in real life to see if he was just as good as in the dreams. And he was not freaked about that either, he said it was all cool with him...
So I wouldn´t say that I´m doing nothing. Next time we have one of these heart to hearts face to face, I will kiss him. And NO WAY will I chicken out the next time smiley - biggrin


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Post 127

a girl called Ben

I dounbt if he'll give you the opportunity to chicken out!

smiley - winkeye

agcB


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Post 128

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

smiley - biggrin


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Post 129

Abi

*goes all gooey and smiley - loveblush*


Love - aint it just grand! smiley - winkeye


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Post 130

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

Oh, he just called me again, like the 3½ hours yesterday wasn´t enough...

Oh my God, I really have it bad for this guy, that just hit me now smiley - biggrin


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Post 131

Bright Blue Shorts

Hey Dax - that's all really great. Congrats smiley - smiley

I disagree with Zorpheus & Orcus who told you to get on in there, or you'll miss your opportunity. You're going down the right path, you know in your heart that it's going to be great, it doesn't really need to be verbalised. You'll get there in the end, that little bit of uncertainty makes it fun because you know really it's a certainty!

BBS smiley - smiley


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Post 132

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

Thank you bbs smiley - biggrin

It´s nice to know that you see my point...

I am so close to him now, we both agreed that we now know each other better than anyone on the planet, because of the things we told each other. We are just so comfortable with each other now that it´s almost scary...

One day it will just be the normal and logical step to just move on to the next level. And I´m glad I had the chance to develop our relationship slowly like this, so that when it does happen, it will be natural and not all akward...

smiley - erm Does that make any sense?


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Post 133

Zorpheus - I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

Dax,
Maybe he won't find someone else, maybe he will. How can you be so sure?
Besides, just think of all the time you are wasting by tip-toeing around you feeling and not telling him. Wouldn't you rather be with him then just wishing you were with him?

Don't get me wrong, I am on your side and I want you guys to get together (romantic at heart) but I don't see the point of not telling him. You're scared, you are afraid of rejection, now you know what every guy goes through when they ask out a girl.

Take the bull by the horns and see what happens. Where is your sense of adventure? smiley - biggrin


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Post 134

Zorpheus - I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

Dax,
Maybe he won't find someone else, maybe he will. How can you be so sure?
Besides, just think of all the time you are wasting by tip-toeing around you feeling and not telling him. Wouldn't you rather be with him then just wishing you were with him?

Don't get me wrong, I am on your side and I want you guys to get together (romantic at heart) but I don't see the point of not telling him. You're scared, you are afraid of rejection, now you know what every guy goes through when they ask out a girl.

Take the bull by the horns and see what happens. Where is your sense of adventure? smiley - biggrin


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Post 135

Abi

hear, hear!

You just have to take you heart in your hands and go for it.

Remember take risks not to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you! smiley - winkeye


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Post 136

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

>>>Take the bull by the horns and see what happens. Where is your sense of adventure?<<<

Cowerding in a corner smiley - erm

No, seriously, you are right. And as I said, the next time I will do it, no turning back.
But I have said it once in this thread and I will say it again... I WILL NOT tell him over the phone. So it will just have to wait, now won´t it...


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Post 137

Abi

absolutely... phone / email / ICQ - the lack of face to face contact leaves you acting on too few indicators to do the job effectively....

Do it your way Dax! smiley - smiley


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Post 138

Zorpheus - I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

Great!!! smiley - smiley

I agree with you, tell him in person (and reep the rewards).

Just don't chicken out (again) next time.

Think positive, get charged up, and don't let anything get in the way of your quest for happiness.


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Post 139

Bright Blue Shorts

I do have one set of question about all this ...

Given that you two have become so close, why isn't he making the first move? Has he told you something in the conversations that tells you why? (You don't have to say what, its probably personal). When you told him about the kissing fantasies did he, indicate similar feelings or that he'd enjoy it? Or did he just not react negatively?

Don't get me wrong because I do hope it works for you both, but I also think that if he is as much of a coward as you (apologies quoting your words indirectly) then you're always going to be bailing him out, or living a fearful life together. Maybe that's just something I fear in a relationship.

Anyway that's probably too much doom and gloom ... I'm sure there's things that you haven't mentioned in the thread, that give a simple explanation.

BBS smiley - smiley


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Post 140

St. Dax of Goodheartedness (Host no. 42 and counting) (keeper of the frustrating habit of using a lot of... dots... all the time

>>>I agree with you, tell him in person (and reep the rewards)<<<

Well..., actually I wasn´t planing on telling him, so much as just kissing him... smiley - biggrin

I think we´re way past the point where we have to say anything. When I kiss him he will know how I feel, and hopefully I will know how he feels smiley - smiley


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