h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mate.

Well one day i got called out by a old fella, god help he must have been at leat 90 or more.
Well this particular day i went to his home, and to my horror the place was full of rats.
When i went into his kitchen i slipped on something, and when i landed on the deck, it was full of S**t from the 4 dogs that he had.
Well you can imagine what i done, i landed face down on it YUCK.
I done what i had to do then got out of there fast i can tell you, i was absolutely smelling from my face down.
I hope i don't get to go there again
TRC

Great quote, Reddyfreddy!

And about confusing voices - once my father called and told me that we would meet in like half an hour at some museum. I said, no, and he was just a little bit pi**ed. Turned out he thought I was my sister with whom he had a date.

And once I had a conversation with the little sister of my best friend. Turned out I thought she was my friend and she thought I was one of hers.

Methos

TRC- I think you should have reported the old guy to the authorities for neglect, or something....

Well where do I start:

Like the day I bent over to retrieve my pen from the office floor and heard my trousers rip. Never spent so much time glued to my chair, but all the girls in the office knew I'm sure.

Or the day for the first time ever in a pub there was a longer queue for the gents than the ladies, which was actually empty so I ducked into a cubicle, except of course it wasn't empty by the time I finished and needed to get out

It's got to be something of a first - usually it's the girls get caught the other way round.

Mind you, they are less embarrassable.

B

Yes, and they gave me hard time usng up one of their cubicles, took me a long time to break free and get back to the beer

When I was night portering at a hotel bar, I always used the Ladies in the middle of the night - it had carpets and mirrors and all sorts of nice stuff that the Gents didn't.

B

Well there was also the time a friend and I turned up in a hurry at a local sports centre, we were late for a badminton court we had booked, but both of us needed a pee first.

We ran in and straight to the loo and being in such a rush grabed a cubicle each, neither of us shutting the door behind us - typical blokes.

It was only after the game of badminton when we went to releive ourselves again that we realised that the gents had urinals to use and yep, we had rushed into the ladies by mistake.

Sorry to any girls in there who were terrified by the sounds of two bursting blokes in their loo.

...like flooded cubicles, piles of vomit etc?

RF

Precisely.

B

Lol


Oh i did report it Elly as soon as i had a shower that i can tell you, but the poor fella had to move out to get it cleaned up.
He is back now though, for i have seen him coming and going on his stick many a time.

Oh, good.

I always go to the men's room and can never believe how revolting it is. How do you guys stand it?!

Elly,

Don't know which men's rooms you frequent but I think you have been unlucky.

All the ladies' I have been into have been much worse, how can you bear to sit on these seats, and what do you do to get them in that state in the first place??

I don't usually *sit* on them, neither do any other woman I know...
The ones I've been to (men's, that is), always seem to have very drunk, or otherwise off balance people being in there before me, including the cubicles. And it seems to be international law that you people have to leave a drop on the seat. Why? God knows. I think it's a territorial thing...

Ok, so why do ladies loos have seats if no one uses them?

Should men's urinals be converted to a hole in the ground that we gather round and pee into? - that should take care of the aiming problem.

Sorry, think we have gone a bit off topic here

Men's urinals in Japan and lots of other places in asia are just that ..... holes in the floor. Your aim's got to be good

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2003.html (not for the squeamish btw)

THey're absolutely revolting, those....


Back to topic please!!!

I can handle urinals being holes in the ground. But those squatting toilets are just evil.

I've been to Japan several times and I never got the hang of them ..... something very unsettling and anxious about them.

That first post-natal breath. It set a deadly precedent.