h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

7 hours! I'd have smashed something. I wonder what those srangers thought of her.

well quite frankly i'd have peed myself,

mummy reddog must have phenominal bladder control!

FABT

Maybe the letterbox was also used for that

lol

I never asked her but I favour the handbag theory

You'd know if since the incident she'd dumped the handbag in favour of a bucket as an shopping accoutrement. Good for several shots, good for most situations. May'be matching shoes and hat to finish off the ensemble even. Totally OTT.

Or she'd go completely high tech and have one of those shopping trollies with wheels, a seat and a tiny little engaged sign on the back. Good for a considerable confinement and a bit more subtle.

Or she's gone for the complete discretionary kit and carries a pint glass in her handbag
, good for one shot only of course. You'd have to sneakily search it to know of course (also a meter or so of hose pipe).

lol

For those that don't know:

On Saturday, it was the Scottish Summer meet. Drink was drunk, ball games were (briefly) played, alcohol was consumed, there was laughter, arguments, violence* and, most of all, beer.

Anyway, one researcher, Wumbeevil, how shall I put this... 'peaked too early', and had to be helped onto a train home. I volunteered to take him to the train station, helped him into the taxi, helped him onto the train, showed the ticket collector his ticket, and struggled off the train (Wumbeevil had decided that I was going home with him).

Back to the pub I went, feeling rather proud that I was able to help others unable to handle their drink. And so the evening passed.

Next day, I received the news that Wumbeevil, instead of being whisked back to Glasgow to recover, had instead been put on the express train to Newcastle. Err, whoops.






*Mostly committed by Lost in Scotland. On me.

Damn, I thought a thumbs up smiley would appear.

*Sudden thought*

Does that mean he's still here?

poor Xanatic...

What's The Most Embarassing Thing That's Ever Happened To You?

That has to be my date 2 nights ago.

Do tell.

Oh, yes!

So she was disappointed then?

I was at my last party, damn bloke should have kept his clothes on!!!

I got an email from someone on date.com who saw my details and photo and wanted to meet me.
As he was in Lincoln, I arranged to meet him, but it had to be here at my home as I can't get sitters during the week.
I didn't like inviting a stranger here but we had emailed a few times and spoken on the phone, he sounded alright.
He said he had an appointment in Lincoln at 7.30pm, which would last approx. 30 mins. so he'd be with me approx. 9pm. All well and good. My son would be in bed by then, and I'd hopefully have an hour or so chat-time.
9pm came and went, so did 9.30, then 10pm. Assuming I'd been stood up, I locked up. I was still watching tv, when there was a knock on my front door at 10.20 and I peered through the glass and I recognized Mark from his photo that he'd emailed me. I opened the door, and before I could say "This is awfully late....." he thrust a box of cheesecake specialites in my hand and said "I'm desperate for the toilet, may I use yours?" I pointed him in the direction of my bathroom and when he came downstairs, I said "Are you Mark?" he patted himself down and said he was when he last looked...
He told me to get some plates and pastry forks {to have been ~asked~ would have been much better} - my nerves were already on edge at it being so late...he then regales me with the history of his life and relationships "so far" and I was trying to get a word in edgeways to ask him to leave, as I really needed to get to bed for some sleep, it being Thursday the next day and getting my grandson at 7.30am, I need to be awake...when he fell asleep, mid-sentence!
I asked him if he'd mind going home, and he jumped, gazed at me bleary-eyed, then he asked if he could "just have a rest" on my couch and he'd "leave at about 3am" as he didn't want to drive home while he was tired.

By now, all I wanted to do was get rid of him, and presuming it was ok to stay on my couch annoyed me, but I'd never have lived with myself if he'd left & caused a serious accident on the road through falling asleep at the wheel...

Rock and a hard place or what?
I told him he could use my guest bedroom, but he'd have to leave very early, before my son awoke.
Going upstairs {after his second trip outside to have a cigarette}
he asked what toothbrush could he use? AND he used the bathroom before me.
I showed him the guest bedroom and he said he'd see me in the morning.
I'd just gone in my room, started undressing, when he said {through my bedroom wall} "I'm in bed now, you can come and tuck me in and give me a goodnight kiss".


In your dreams!

I ignored him, and a couple of minutes later he said "I'm not joking, you know!"

I didn't answer, but got into bed, glad of the phone above my bed, as I was ready to call the police.

Ten minutes later, I heard him get out of bed and put his light on. His door opened, then MY bedroom door opened and he walked in, in just his shirt. He said "I'm wide awake and I want someone to talk to"
I said "If you're wide awake then you can go home!"
He said "No, I just want someone to talk to" and he sat down at the end of my bed.
Pulling my quilt even higher I said "Look, I have to be up very early and I should have been in bed ages ago, if you don't go back to bed, then you'll have to leave".
He went back to bed.
I prayed he wouldn't sit in my new guest bedroom and smoke!
I slept only fitfully, he went to the toilet approx. 2am making enough noise to wake the dead.
I got up at 5.45 and got dressed. As I pushed open his door, he was laid there looking at me, awake. I said "Do you mind leaving? Only my son will be awake soon..." and he said "Sure" and threw his cover back, to reveal he was wearing only his underpants and I turned and went downstairs.
I wanted to just make my own so he wouldn't stay any longer but that felt churlish so I offered him a
He drank it and as he was collecting all his gear {he'd brought an overnight bag}!!!! he was mumbling something about coming round on Friday night, he'd bring something "to cook" and he'd stay over and then leave for Scotland on Saturday morning to go visit his ex-wife and collect his personal belongings "if she hasn't burned them or given them all away already"
I said I'd let him know if it was convenient.
As I opened the front door, he said "Well, I'm going to be optimistic, and say if I don't hear from you, I'll see you tomorrow night" and he went to kiss me.
I took two steps back and looked down, opening the door even wider, and moving behind him, he had no choice but to move out the door as I was already shutting it behind him.
I shut and locked the door so gratefully.
*massive sigh*

Yes, I have emailed him telling him not to come here again!


At least I learned an important lesson.
Stick to the rules!
Never let anyone come to your home, always meet them in public and somewhere neutral.

makes you wonder how people can stand to live in their own bodies, i'd hate to be that horrid

Poor GB!
To say the truth I'd have kicked him out when he fell asleep the first time, or at least called the police when he walked in your bedroom showing his "Goods".
And just to finish the whole comment I've made here- Men!

Poor GB!
To say the truth I'd have kicked him out when he fell asleep the first time, or at least called the police when he walked in your bedroom showing his "Goods".
And just to finish the whole comment I've made here- Men!