h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why thank you, cap'n!

then dose that mean i'm the cook?

Excuse me, can I open a chapel here? I won't be around much but I guess a chapel might be needed anyway.

I don't know, that could cause quite a stir...

Could you please consider another profession?

*sniff, sniff*

*tracing the enchanting scent of Floh*

*looks up*

*wags tail*

I am not Floh, doggy-doggy.
Mr. Heartless, would you be interested in being a member of the ship's Security?
Ludwig the Labrador would make an exelent watch dog.

Ecky Thump Esq., could you be interested in being the ship's carpenter? We need someone who is good with tools to free Mr. Andrews from the corridor (long story, I'll tell you later).

And Sir Plato, Thank you for managing these unruley crouds. I don't know what we would do without you.

Yes sir Mr. Christopher would be delighted to be ships carpenter. Ecky dances the hornpipe.
I am very good with tools, at the moment i'm putting in a connecting door from my room to the ravishingly beautiful Floh's. Shush don't tell her. Let me know about Mr. Andrews and I'll fix it.
This calls for a celebration, Ecky heads for the bar singing "Oh, a life on the ocean waves"

Well Ecky, it all began when Mr. Andrews and I went to speek with the Captain, and the writing desk became wedged in the corrador. Mr. Andrews climbed underneith it to try and push it out, but the legs broke off and it pinned him. We've been feeding him, but he's become a nusance, blocking the corrador and everything. Could you attempt to dismantle the wall and widen the corrador a bit? It would involve cutting through the existing wall and re-routing the ducts, pipes, wires, etc.

Ahoy

Yes, Bart, you can be a cook. There should be plenty of room in the galley for lots of cooks

A chappel, Heartless? H*ll, why not? After all we are zaphodistas, so we believe in freedom for all and such. You should know, however, that I am (among other things) also highpriest and founder of The First Church of Agnosticism. And we won't tolerate religious wars on this ship!

Ludwig, I trust you to be our ships dog. Watch out for Big Cat - and don't do anything to Amy The Ant and Floh that I wouldn't to

Ahoy - and stuff...

Yes, Bart, you can be a cook. There should be plenty of room in the galley for lots of cooks

A chappel, Heartless? H*ll, why not? After all we are zaphodistas, so we believe in freedom for all and such. You should know, however, that I am (among other things) also highpriest and founder of The First Church of Agnosticism. And we won't tolerate religious wars on this ship!

Ludwig, I trust you to be our ships dog. Watch out for Big Cat - and don't do anything to Amy The Ant and Floh that I wouldn't do

* puts the following note under the door *

An Invitation - Come to a Birthday Party

Join us in the Lighthouse Bar (and probably the Main Mess Room) on Monday 20 August for a food, drink, music, dancing, general merriment and debauchery

The Captain has said we can beam guests on board for the occasion so please feel free to bring guests (although we will not be able to guarantee their safety )

Hope you can join me, no need to RSVP just turn up and join the celebrations

Light

*folds notice into paper aeroplane and sails it out the window*

*bursts dramaticaly through the door (wich had just materialized specifically for the purpose of having her burst dramaticaly through it) and stands looking very proud and important, sillohetted by an inexplicable light shining behind her, her long sword held impressivly in her hand.(It is very intrecatly carved and was made, by the way, by Queen Almasy)She surveys the ship and it's crew (who have momentaraly stoped everything that they were doing to stare in startled awe, then got back to what they were doing) with a dignified and important glare.She is wearing a billowing silk shirt, unbuttened low enough that everyone can see that she is also wearing a very small leather bra. She is also wearing a wonderfully loose and short skirt. Her long black hair blows in the wind. She speaks in a loud and impressively heroic voice:
Is there a position open for a wandering hero?

Eer, yes, I think so. You should wait until Captain appears in his rooms. Meanwhile you could entertain yourself at the Lighthouse Bar.
*leaves muttering herself*
So many heroes these days, I wonder who does the dirty work.

*swagers importantly away*

Don't go yet Miss Wolf, we have much to discuss.
As Ships' Quartermaster (and puppet master) I must ask to see your qualifications.

Hmmm, Hati is right, you know: Th*are* many heroes on this ship already

But noone has asked for the job as a *wandering* hero yet - so it's yours, Sam Wolfe!

Welcome aboard - make yourself at home

Captain, I didn't expect you back so soon I found us a carpenter and he's working on freeing Mr. Andrews from the corrador.

Good job, quartermaster!

I found a little spare time and I have been to a few cabins to say hi, but it will be saturday before I can go around and say hi to all.

I'm sure it doesn't matter, though. It seems the ship is in good hands

Time for me to beam up again, BTW. Au reservoir!

A biento, mon capitan. *salutes*