h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm shocked. I haven't been around for a month and a half, and I come back to find....5 new posts?

Anyone else think this forum/cause has passed its prime? Or have the squirrels gotten to everyone but me?

--the lonely

round here there's been very little squirrel activety recently, that may meen nothing, or they may be prepaaring for somethin big

The squirrels near my house are behaving pretty well, but I don't trust them. It's like there's more of them every day.

i'm still here! i been here the whole time, i was sittin in that corner waiting for someone to come back and tell me a big war with the squirrels had started or something.

the ever faithful but now very very drunk and typing with dragon aid Scruff X

I stopped posting for a while because the "small print" problem was pissing me off. But I'm back now. The skwerls are definately plotting something.
I've been scouring the parks and cemeteries in the middle of the night for evidence of their plan but they've covered their asses quite well this time.

My girlfriend thinks I'm insane. But she'll see. They'll all see. Hahahaha! One day the squirrels will be gone and I will rule all. Bwahahahahahaha!!!





...Sorry I just get carried away sometimes. It's my idiom or something.

PS. Has anyone bought the new Muse dbl CD. If not, hurry up soldiers, and get the new single while you're at it cos it's the only way you can get the studio version. Dead Star at amp level 11 can paint the walls with squirrel brains!

u know what? i have an amusing, or maybe not so amusing, or probably one of those 'you had to be there' type story things about this guy i knew in school who we called squirrel. he thought we called him that because he was good at climbing trees. We actually called him that because we wanted to smash his brains in with a brick.

anyway yes ready for action as soon as there is any action needed sir!
scruff

I see the squrls out of my bedroom window. In the trees. Watching me. Day and night. Like a Rodent Big Brother, their eyes follow me around. The're in the trees! The're in the Trees!
But I must not worry, yesterday, as I was cycling in the woods (on Patrol!) I glimpsed my English teacher dressed as Lara Croft, jogging about. Methinks she drank too much Lukazade.

(I don't know about you, but that felt quite creative, note my use of very short sentences to emphasise the tension)

On a lighter note, I tried a Red Bull for the first time last night, I quite liked the taste, and had two more. I haven't slept for 48 hours, and have been cycling about like never before, though all the caffine flowing through my veins has made my hands shake and my eye twitch.

But other than that I'm fine

They are watching, and they are moving north-eastish.
For the last two months I have made some worrying and frankly disturbing observations.
The numbers swelled and squirrels from far and wide did converge herein.
And as hard as I observed they observed, atop roof-top and tree-hollow, in the bushes, and from under del and wobbly fence they did look.
And, as soon and as swiftly as they did blight this land they are moving.
They have managed to gain the help of all mannorisms of transport, lorry and car, both bike and rail, as across this ladden land they travail.

I'm afraid, very afraid,
And every one thinks I'm mad; just they wait till the squirrel hits the fan, its not going to be pretty; but at least we know: I don't know why they refused to publish my letter in the Gardian *agent#42

jkl/004962

North eastish you say? I buy that, the area that the squirrels seem to be guarding locally is almost deserted, I only saw a few when I was around there today. But their base was amazing, its the first time I've been able to get right up to it. I believe that they have been training squirrels and Human collaborators to ride all terrain bikes.

I would bleed my "friend" who is a squirrel supporter, but he has gone away to Edinborough, which is north-eastish I suppose.

Red Bull is delicious, I had some today myself.

*gasps* you are friends with a squirrel supporter?? i hope only so u can gain information and also occasionaly point and laugh at this person for being a supporter of the furry menace.

scruff X (bored and wanting to nuke a few squirrel headquarters)

Of course, I need informants. Do we have nukes?

i think we do somewhere around here, have a look round the back of that sofa over there

Scruff X

*Looks* creative storage place.

::looks around::

::blinks::

::takes another shot of vodka and retreats to her corner, muttering unintelligibly about squirrels and summer and other such nonsense::

--the

u know i reckon we need rama back, always the person to get us all worked up with a new bit of interesting squirrel killing technology

scruff X

so like, should we snipe these byotches or what? ( while drunk of course )

well yes *looks around* that does seem to have become a bit of a requirement *grins* we could go snipe from the window if u want?

scruff X

They may have weapons of mass distruction The time has come; I'm going to open the single malt *agent42

I demand that if the swerls dont accede to our demand, and allow the UN weapons inspecters in then we nuke the lot of em

and i'm assuming none of us want to go anywhere near themn to even ask if they'll let the weapons inspectors in so why don't we just nuke them anyway?

scruff X