h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or disinfectant...no...that's Ciff now isn't it...
*Continues to hack off giraffe's legs*

Long live the drunken army

...and the caffiene-fueled army.

Rama

*1st giraffe leg falls to floor*

*Hands over a scaffolding pole to prop up the Giraffe whilst the other legs are removed*

Well done, you might want to cauterize that though

*Pulls out a medical cauterizing laser and passes that over as well*

Keep up the good work.

Rama

........going back to the strange behaviour with the rubber.....sounded interesting....*cough*

*2nd giraffe leg falls to floor*
Oh dammit! That was its neck...I'm gonna have to stat all over again now...
*Goes to fetch another giraffe...*

Calm down Smily,

Giraffe's don't grow on trees you know and we're not the Anti-Giraffe League (they meet every other tuesday next door).

Start small, here's a captured Squirrel operative, see what you can do with him...

Rama

I could stick a Goa'uld in him I s'pose...

Hey Scruff,

What's your preference? Rubber, PVC or leather?

Whatever you want and I'll knock up a set of armour/camo gear in the appropriate material.

Smily - We need a new person portable ASL weapon, could yo have a think and see what you can come up with. My bio-research department is continuing work on the Giraffe project (codename: LongShanks) and the squirrel still need to be interrogated by the Intelligence division.

Rama

Aaagh! Backlog!

Sorry, I was away at University stuff. It's good to see you are all coping on your own.

Smiley, welcome to the Tech deparment. You are now Rama's assistant cheif. Good luck soldier. Be careful with those giraffe's though, we don't have that many.

Rubber, PVC or leather? I've been meaning to ask you that for a while but for different reasons. It's a hard one, and so's the question so in my opinion I'd say all of them (but not at the same time, no.) Scruff?

Mixing alcohol and caffiene is fun. Red Bull and vodka is a favourite chemical of mine. It keeps me bouncing all night. It also helps if you eat pure sugar. hehehehehehehehehehee!

Welcome back Oh Chiefiest of Chiefs.

We all forgot silk, what about silk? I like it myself.

Rama

Well I'm currently breeding Goa'uld with a new researcher, d'ya think they could be used as a portable weapon?

How?

Throw them at the Squirrels and hope they are grossed out by the slimy tentacled thing?

Rama

Well, if I train them to fight in our side, when they blend with the squirrel, it will become one of us...

Hmmm, portible, squirrel-attacking weapon...
Hmm, Caffine bombs?
Alcohol-powered portible flame thrower?
PVC, Leather, Silk... tricky

How about mini tree's covered in glue?

Cunning, very cunning, and, whats-more, it sounds like a weapon that would work with these slimey Bast***s... its PVC obviously s off to find glue

*Sticks lots of mini trees in gun*

*returns with large* barrel of glue...
*begins coating giraff's legs with glue