h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Beneath the innercity mansion of Lord Marmaduke Heavy VI, in picturesque H2G2 old town. Beneath the sewers, beneath the medieval earthworks, beneath the sedentry layers. There is a cave of huge proportions. Gothic in style, suitably grim shadows rule, punctuated only by the flashing of computers. This cave is the as yet unnamed CHOPPERS hideaway. A meeting is in progress - there are pernicious STUMPED dealings afoot.*

Giguschild drops down from a waste vent in the cieling and scuttles into a dark corner to wait for the briefing to begin. This is just his kind of place. He takes a battered and stained cup of mouldy and solidified coffee from his suit pocket and completely fails to drink it. He is very annoyed at STUMPED for making him miss the muppets film; but he still has some popcorn, on which he munches silently.

*Suddenly, out of nowehere gaage appears.*
Hello everybo-
*he then dissapears, due to an unfortunate malfunctin in his apparation apparatus.*

*gaarge was for a short moment seen to hover next to giguschild, then he disappeared again. Then, after a few seconds a scream could be heard, and gaarge fell to the floor, having apparated in mid-air.*
"Hmmm," gaarge groaned after a while, "I think I need a new transporter."

*Teleports in, soon enough to hear the mishaps. Looks at gaarge's teleportation device. Listens to it for a moment*

It's not broken. All you need is a new harmonic gem. Here, CLI just got a new shipment of 'em.

*Installs a harmonic gem onto the device*

That should do the trick. No guarantees, substitutions, exchanges, or refunds. Anyway, Uncle Heavy, what's this about? Ever since KL stopped possessing me, I've not been able to second guess STUMPED as easily. Although I have noticed them up to a few recent suspicious activities. KL and BBW made peace with the killer rabbits of Mt. SandEverest a few days ago.

*A large wolf quietly creeps into the cavern, unnoticed. It looks around cautiously, sniffs the air, then moves into the light, revealing its presence. It transforms into human form.*

Hi guys.

Well. We have a problem. STUMPED are up to something. Something big. I monitor their conversation with my secret bug, but nothing is going down so far. If someone could alert mewtwos when they see 'em, and YK, I'd be grateful. Any news would be helpful, too.

I agree - something big is in the works. They have made some sort of arrangements with the Rat-Ants from the Majic Forest and with the Killer Rabbits from Mt. SandEverest. KL has tricked Joanna into making a huge S30 doughnut. And my spys are reporting that there seems to be some STUMPED activity around Hangar Infinity on the Space Station. http://www.h2g2.com/F35868?thread=76134 There certainly does seem to be something in the works. Perhaps we should check out that hangar.

Hmmm...sssome very odd stuff indeed going on in there. Never fear, I have a ship of my own...it'sss in Hangar#20; at the bottom of the H2G2 space center. I doubt it is really a match for the DRACO, but there we go. It might help a bit.

Is a raid on the cards?

It'll need careful planning, and some really cunning identity switching

[Death Avocado] Can I help?

*Very, very long pause*

*Giguschild emits a scream of rage*
[Giguschild] WHAT!? Shut up! I killed you off ages ago!

*A very faint, flickering image of a freem-coated superhero appears in the room*

[Death Avocado]*faintly* Er, haha, yes, well. I came back, din' oi? Er...aarrgghh!

*Giguschild leaps in a fury at the image of DA which wavers and dissolves into the air*

[Death Avocado] N-N-NNNNnnnnnooooooo...

*Giguschild snickers relievedly.*

Yesss, well. Sssory about that...shouldn't...happen again.

Guys, I know how Minos Krylma thinks, and I can tell you this: if he's been up to this kind of scheme, he's got something else going. More than likely, he has already set up half a dozen death traps around that hangar. He also knows how to hide behind the law pretty well. Knowing him, we won't have much to pin on him until right before he unleashes the plan. Whatever we do, we've got to be quick, quiet, and strong. Anything else, and he'll win.

Well, we need to know what hes up to, first.

Well, let's look at what he's done so far. Maybe we can figure out what he's up to.

1) He tricked Joanna into making a giant S30 donut.
2) He stole schematics for Irving Washington's IIEM.
3) He made peace with the army of rat-ants outside the Aroma Cafe.
4) He made peace with the Killer Rabbits of Mt. SandEverest.
5) He designed a ship that could hold its own against the Raven.
6) He stole a CLI PDCC
7) He stole schematics for the CLI rift-maker.

The IIEM, PDCC, and rift-maker are very similar devices, but they each have unique properties. For instance, the rift-maker is usually used to get people to other worlds within our own universe, while the PDCC can pull things from alternate universes. The IIEM seems to create things from matter in order to fulfill whatever it is that people at the Cafe order. Looks to me like he's going to try and get something from one reality to ours. And from reading the forum, it's apparent that he's using the S30 as a power supply. And the rat-ants and rabbits are probably just there in case people like us decide to crash the party.

Will the Draco be able to match up against the Raven AND the dropship (Which is in hangar#20)?
BTW I remember him telling me precisely what he was going to do, and how he was going to do it. But I forgot.

Well, I'd assume that he *could* go head to head with the dropship and the Raven, but that won't happen. The Raven is owned by one of his underlings, The Masque of the Red Rejection eMail. It'll probably end up being the Draco and the Raven against whatever ships we've got (such as my CLI Mini-UFO). If we just had slightly easier access to the Mangar, we would hold a pretty good fighting chance in space, but the way I see it, this is a battle we'll have to do indoors.

Oops sorry thought the Raven was ours. The dropship IS ours...what's/ whose is the Mangar?

[YK, wearing a blue jumpsuit, a red cape, and his double-bladed lightsaber, sweeps extravagently into the room, trips over his cape, and falls over in a heap to the laughter of Mackenzie, who is wearing the usual blue Deanna Troi's uniform (without the comm badge or rank pips) and enters almost immediately after him]

[YK] Ugh.

[Mackenzie] I warned you!

[YK gets up]

[YK] RIGHT then!

Greetingage, YK, Mackenzie.

Giguschild, the Mangar is owned by me, but I'm currently using it on the mission to Zork in another forum at the Space Station. While I *could* use both, it'd be confusing to those of us in both forums.

As long as we've invited YK to this little conference, anyone think I should invite some of the other police and security people around h2g2? Amy the Ant, Chrome 101, and BED would probably be very willing to help us out, if the need arrived.

I've got a plan!
*everyone in the room stares at gaarge*
but...er..it isn't very well, oh dear.
*gaarge gives into the stares and cries on the floor, in a heap.*