h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*gaarge gets up and, without anyone staring at him writes his plan on a piece of paper it reads:
lure the STUMPED clan onto gaarge's home planet, gastrophrantabulor, and then we'll ponce on them. However, luring them away from all those capital letter abbreviations wil be hard, especially with those mice...

Yes...and I don't know that poncing on them would be all that good an idea, anyway...

Ooo. I don't know about that. Ducky. OOer. Mrs.

Well, we need to call Mewtwos, and any of the police would be good. You wouldnt be shaping this in any way would you?

[Oh, me and gigus will be posting sporadically for about a week. Half term and we have rubbish connections.]

[YK] Sounds good!

[Mackenzie] Now what?

Hey! I have an idea. We should rent the hangars on either side of hangar infinity. Um, that would be hangars infinity minus one and infinity plus one. Then we can drill small holes through the dividing walls and insert mini-cameras and listening devices and see what they are up to. Then, if we need to, we can use YK's lightsaber to quietly cut doors through the walls and we can attack from two sides at once. We can also get up on the roof from our hangars and attack through the roof of their hangar, too. Attacking that way should get around KL's traps, I think.

[YK] Pardon me, but using a lightsaber does not cut /anything/ quietly. A lightsaber makes its own amount of noise, you see.

[Mackenzie points at a pile of shipping crates. A strange tone, like the force fields in Star Trek: Voyager, is heard, and a green disk of light appears on the side of the shipping crate. The light and the tone fade away, and with them the bit of the crate that the disc was obscuring. YK's jaw drops several feet and Mackenzie looks pleased with herself]

[Mackenzie] That do?

[YK] Wurg.

[He says this because his brain is too busy trying to get his heart to continue beating to form any coherent words]

Still, it makes the drone. KL has very good hearing. If we could get some kind of distraction...

Hey, wait a second, let me think. Whenever I've seen a STUMPED meeting actually grow calm, they seem to occupy themselves with pizza orders, carry-in chinese food, etc. Perhaps sending them a fake pizza would cause enough distractions.

*While he says this, Affy punches some buttons on his watch. Soon, messages will be sent to MewTwo, Amy the Ant, Chrome 101, and BED*

[YK] And our chances of getting through doubled because their getting calm is an off-chance.

Hey, I've seen STUMPED in action. Once they ignore their otherwise short attention spans, they can get very serious and peaceful. And somehow I get the feeling that if KL bothers to post again any time soon, every member of STUMPED will be put on an extra strenuous watch.

I've just recieved word that my presence is required here. What's happening?

Ponces here, nonces at the Atelier - what is the world coming to?

*blows the dust out of the end of her light sabre*

Ah. Fresh blood. Hello, this is the CHOPPERS secret hideout, where the superheros of H2G2 can meet and discuss plans. Something big is afoot. You know STUMPED?

Affy - we could all pose as pizza delivery men/ double glazing salesmen/tramps (that is bum in American)

Yes, I know STUMPED. STUMPED is one of my primary concerns when maintaining the security of the Space Center.

I will have trouble posing as anything ending in -men. can we all develop a more PC approach, please.

[Mackenzie] True, but there is such a thing as overdoing it.

Hang on, I think I've got some stuff...

*Exits the room for a few minutes. Comes back in carrying several pizza delivery uniforms, with a triumphant look on his face*

And Ampton thought I was crazy when I installed that portable insta-sewing machine in the CLI van!

Okay, I'll briefly explain the new situation for BED and Amy. It's been apparent since before the election got into full swing that KL and Company were up to something. It started with an armed raid on Joanna's Donut Stall. STUMPED managed to get away with a recipe, which we believe was the only existing recipe for the S30 donut, and some strange metal device. Later, KL managed to reclaim his own body from my Holistic Detective Agency, which then became a trash heap thanks to the low lifes that tried to take over. After that, KL managed to legitimately purchase a hangar from Alien on board the space station. Nothing illegal, but definitely suspicious.

This was all followed by a broad series of quick thefts and other suspicious looking activities: KL made peace with the rat-ants of the Aroma Cafe's Majick Forest, tricked Joanna into making a giant S30 donut, brought his pet rabbit from his old universe, stole schematics for my PDCC and rift-makers, stole schematics for the IIEM at the Aroma Cafe, and made peace with the Killer Rabbits of Mt. SandEverest. All of this stuff was taken to his hangar, which he had equipped with some of the Infinite Capacity technology that GL and I briefly sold on the market before making it only a custom made product. To top it off, KL has ordered every single member of STUMPED to show up in his hangar. There they sit, no doubt on the brink of some terrifying scheme. And here we are with our secret weapon: pizza delivery outfits.

Anyway, that's why we called. YK, Amy, BED, this is the reason why we contacted you. We need help, and we need it ASAP.

*Puts on a pizza delivery outfit*

You guys do realize I have a key to the hangar, right?

Yes, but if it were just a matter of getting into the Hangar, I could've picked the lock yesterday. The problem is going to be staying alive when we go in. STUMPED won't kill pizza delivery people, but they will kill superheroes, adventuters, Jedi, or security officers.

That's a good point.

*begins to put on a pizza deliver outfit, and some glasses so that he won't be immediately recognized.*

*strokes chin, thoughtfully*

If we raid them too soon, though, KL will just claim that he isnt up to no good. You know his mind - very well equiped for spotting loopholes. He's managed it before.