h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, you're the one more person. Let's do it!

[Mewtwo] }Here goes!{ [teleports out]

*Teleports in*

Well, that went well. If we're lucky, he won't sue us for breaking and entering and leading an assault on his flunkies while he was trying to reunite with his old friends.

[YK] Thank Bob for that.

Unfortunately, he is. Check the forum, and you'll see. He's suing us for everything he can think of.

[Mewtwo, who hasn't actually been to the other forum] }Uh-oh.{

Okay, we need to set up some kind of plan. It won't be long before KL goes straight to Judge AXR. And, in an army of slightly over a thousand Krylma minions, The Masque's army of rodentars, and the Masque's army of Mangols, chances are that at least one of them will be experienced with legal credentials enough to be a pretty good lawyer. And, while I'm sure most people will be biased against STUMPED, the court probably will attempt to be as fair as possible and may penalize us as a result. I don't suppose anyone in our little group is afiliated with lawyers, are you? I seem to recall that Amy has some background in it, but I may be confusing her with someone else.

[YK considers this]

[YK] Hmm ... Do you have access to a time machine?

[Mackenzie] Are you suggesting we go back ten billion years in the past and try to contact Judiciary Pag?

[There is a bizarre noise. In a burst of light, a time machine crashes into the present. Inside are Judiciary Pag (a.k.a. Zipo Bilbrox 5*10^8) and a previously mentioned rather nice female member of the jury of the Krikkit)]

[Pag] ZARQUON-DAMMIT!

[Nice Jury Girl] Oh, no. We're ten billion years in the future!

[Mackenzie] No, you're NOW. You're FROM ten billion years in the PAST.

[YK] Listen. [He is disobeyed as Mackenzie, Pag, and the NJG are drawn into an argument about temporal relativity]

*Examines the time machine*

This is busted. It'll take a while to fix...

*Looks at Judiciary Pag. Having read Life, The Universe, And Everything, Affy wonders if he should really take this person who may or may not be a skilled enough lawyer. Shrugs*

Why not...

*Tactfully walks up to Judiciary Pag*

Excuse me, sir. I've just looked at your time machine. It's broken. Kaput. Busted. But not totalled. I can fix it for you, but it'll cost you. You've gotta be our lawyer in an upcoming trial, and if we win the case I'll fix the machine for free. If we don't win, I'll give you a discount price. Deal?

[Vekura] {I haven't read "Life, the Universe, and Everything."}

[Mewtwo] }I have. Judiciary Pag has the finest legal mind in the history of the Galaxy. He judged the Krikkit case.{

[Vekura] {He seems kinda rude.}

[Mewtwo] }Yeah, he thinks that having the finest legal mind in Galactic history means he can behave as he chooses. And he's right.{

[Pag shrugs]

[Pag] Sure.

[NJG] Why not?

[YK] Nobody better answer that question.


Affy, I bequeath upon thee control of Pag and the NJG.

[Mewtwo] }With Judiciary Pag on our side, we can't go wrong.{

[Vekura] {I hope.}

I think you're confusing me with Fragilis.

You all seem to have forgotten, but it was yowozupman who started the fight. He shot me, in disguise. We are watertight. MMhmm. And DA/G has many a fine alibi. Quick! Read his forum postings!

Good job, everyone, by the way. They were genuinely confused. Well, yowuzupman was (him being the only 'pure' villain present )
pity there werent more of them, really.

[YK] Yeah. It was almost easy.

[Mackenzie] Too easy...

Yes, that's right, I suppose. STUMPED will argue that since Yowuzupman knew that it was a disguise, he also knew that you wouldn't be wounded. But it's still presenting too flimsy a case. KL's never been the best legal authority, but even he should see that his case is a tad unstable. I wonder what he could be gaining by going through with this?

And yes, I think keeping the judge in check won't be *too* much of a problem. Especially since I'm one of the only people on h2g2 with all of the equipment required to fix this kind of damage. Of course, he could get a new ship, but that'd be more expensive.

[Mewtwo] }This seems to keep getting better and better...{

Especially since we've got Judiciary Pag *and* Giguschild representing our case. Go to the forum, and read it (start on the last twenty, though, there's a bunch of cases before ours).

[YK and Mackenzie] Where's the forum?!?!

Does anyone have any suggestions apropo the case? Anything I've missed?