h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You were doing your best to help, Amy, not your fault if the other person doesn't give you the full SP or appreciates your efforts to provide the MO.

Sorry, been reminiscing about the tv series Minder!

*Affy's looking over the note*

These guys either don't know this building or they over-estimate their scare tactics. Or they don't think we'll take them seriously. Totally evacuating downstairs would be ni-impossible by the end of the week. Maybe in a month,....

We going to Moxon Wood? Hmmm, I wonder how long it's been since we've seen those apes....

Lucinda and I used to chat all the time waaaaay back when I first came onboard, but then he dropped me like the proverbial hot potato and I never found out why.

[Hati]

[:x] -- not mentioning the b'log.

Moxon Wood? Hmm. I'd best get to work on this thing, then...

*flashes manic grin as she sets to work on the stapler*
First cookware, now office equipment, quite the offensive! Staplers make excellent weapons, though. Ask any ninja you like ^_^

*futzing about with the air-rifle bits*
Unfortunately, the safety is on the half of the rifle that I haven't got...but we'll manage...

*soldering, welding, sticking chewing gum in various strategic places, not to mention thumbtacks...annnnd...*
Ta da! Done. I've rigged in a pneumatic system to give the staples a bit of extra kick...and replaced the ordinary staples with titanium ones.
*hands back the stapler -carefully-, along with a small metallic cartridge*
Now, I've loaded the gun itself with ordinary staples...this dispenser holds staples tipped with an anaesthetic. It's quickly absorbed and long-acting, so mind you don't stick yourself...

*reproachful glare at Sporky*
Are you impugning my cooking, sir?
*bounds off to kitchen, intent on proving him wrong...several ominous crashing sounds are heard*

*Looks at the modified stapler.*



Now if anything can staple jello to the wall, this has got to be it. Nice work, Odra.

For myself, I'm just adding this to my normal stuff.

*Straps a miner's lamp onto his head. The bulb is a heat lamp.*

Might help melt the jello. You never know. And if anyone wants the backs of their knees suntanned, just walk in front of me.

/* Carefully takes the stapler and fits it into his belt. */

No safety, huh? Those jellos better watch out! And in case they come back here while we're off rescuing Lil, I have something that might throw them.

/* Unfolds cardboard cutouts of himself and Zeppo, and sets them up in strategic places in the Atelier. They are a little worse for wear, having been used stored for a long time in the Aroma Café. Apparently someone had been doodling on the back of the cardboard d'Elaphant's head, and Zeppo sports a Dali-esque mustache. */

Now if they come back, they'll think the Atelier is still occupied by more people than it actually is.

*laughing uproariously* I surely am glad I come here, or got brought here or whatever that coin does. You all are the best fiercest posse I ever seen! *slaps his knee*

But ma'am, *tipping his hat to Miz Odradek in the kitchen* much as I admire your arms, I be much obliged if you don't enhance my guns any.

*pours more coffee and gets another slice of cake, and adds sugar to both*

Where's this Moxon Wood then? You all got mounts?

lucinda regularly comes accross as a rampant willy

i spoke to him irl once and hes not too bad...

I think my caramelising blow torch might come in handy for melting the jelly/o, just in case d'E's stapler needs back-up.

It sees precious little use in the kitchen as H says I can only use it if an adult is in the room.

*to Miz Amy* Ma'am, you say you was insulted by a man named Lucinda? Do you want me to kill him? I can learn this Senor Lucinda some manners, mira!

*Billy spins his 44, now assembled, through the air in a set of dazzling twirls*

*wanders out of the kitchen, perusing a cookbook abstractedly*

Perhaps I shall wait til we get Lil back; then we can have a proper banquet in her honour...
...but I'm not so terrifying a cook as all that! *levels Meaningful Glance at couch *

*lays aside cookbook and grins at Billy, admiring his firearm acrobatics*
Trust me, I don't think those could be improved upon

Hmm. Is Moxon Wood far? Can we walk, or will we need transit? If we're fighting cowboys, horses seem the most appropriate conveyance...d'you think we could find any at that ranch you'd mentioned, Titania?

*smiles at Caer, brandishing blowtorch*
I've got mine too!
*her thumb slips, sparks shoot out in an arc*
Tee hee.

Er... no, I don't think I want Lucinda killed. Not today, anyway.

*hovers over the sofa on the dragonFLYbot*

What are we waiting for?

Who's leadin this posse?
*holsters his gun*

I got two horses outside, one's carryin my pack. I seen horse tracks around when I came in but I don't know if them horses is broke or not.

*watches the ant on the dragonfly with some wonder*

Horse tracks, Billy? From the Webjello Gang, or some other herd?

...and how would gelatine go about riding a horse?

They wasn't ridden, these horses, they was loose. One set of prints looked like they was from some big plowhorse.

*sits up and yawns, looking at the assembled crowd over the lip of the bundt pan*

are we gonna get this show on the road, folks? we have our hostess to save!

*sees the various accoutrements*

hmmmm....melting the jello? sounds like a plan. well then, i'd better find something useful then....

*gets out of the bundt pan and disappears down the hall. returns with a vaguely ominious black backpack with various tubes coming out of it*

this is a state of the art multi-purpose jet. got nitroglycerin, propane, and ....yep, even some of that blue ice stuff. can't ever remember what it's called. ya just shoot it out of these jets here, and light it here, and voila! fried jello!

I do hate to be a bother but I was wondering if you might refrain from discussing "carmelizing" things with blow torches. I'm begining to feel a bit queezey at the notion, don't you see? As an "inexpensive" Easter-chocolate give away I've never been as thoroughly fire proofed as a regular child's toy would be.

*gutteral sniggering is heard from the pug dogs.*