h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Number 11 enters the newly created portal linking the Atelier to the rift. In tow is a slightly scruffy Baker Street Irregular clutching a bag of Matina's cinnamon buns.*

Thanks, Eleven. The sooner we get this kid back inside his short story, the better.

"Bossy ole biddy! Wot if I don't want to go back? I got rights, ya know."

The only right you have right now is not to be smacked! And you're treading thin ice on that one. Besides, Holmes will need your services. You're famous, you know.

"Gaw.....really......famous....me?"

Absolutely. *takes Eleven aside* How can you be sure you'll drop him into the right story? I mean, what happens if he turns up in Miss Havisham's parlor? Or down the White Rabbit's hole?

Eleven makes some final entries on his console, takes the Irregular by the arm and walks through the gate into the rift.

*waves to Eleven and the Irregular* Keep your ears clean! And don't forget to write. *walks over to the viewing screen and settles in to watch Eleven's progress*

Dang! I should have brought and a cinnamon bun.

*carries a tray into the library and sets it down on the card table, the only piece of furniture in the annex so far*

Is it OK to bring refreshments in here? I've brought tea and a fresh lot of Matina's cinnamon buns. The only bread I'm allowing myself for the next 3 weeks is the virtual stuff.

The bots in charge of furniture want to know if you want a rolltop or flat desk, and have a look at this catalogue and see if there's a style you like.

*comes over and looks into the viewpiece from over Hypatia's shoulder* I'm sure they had paper bags back then, but what will they make of the word "GAP" on the side?

*helps herself to the contents of Lil's tray.* Thanks, your timing is wonderful. Normally food isn't allowed in libraries, but this is a private library with a known group of browsers, so I think we can permit it within reason. , , and things without a lot of crumbs will do nicely.

I've never had a rolltop desk. That would be wonderful. *thumbs through catalog and makes a selection* This one is fairly plain, but it's made of walnut, which I like, and the lack of ornamentation is cancelled out by the extra large center drawer and the hidden compartment on the upper right side.

The little rascal wanted to stay the minute he tasted Matina's cooking. That was the only bag we could find - what with things being in a state of flux right now. He's going to have quite a tale to tell. One no one will believe, of course. I hope at least one person smacks him. He kicked me! Twice!

*walks in and takes a look around for any interesting books*

Courtesy

Notices Eleven making his way back toward the portal and wonders why he keeps looking over his shoulder. Suddenly a desert vista appears and the ground begins to swell.

She hurriedly keys in the password to the outer gate, reaches through and pulls Eleven inside.

Holy s**t! Or should I say Holy Shai-Halud. Eleven! I asked you to bring me a warm dessert, not a worm from the desert!

Garius, this bot needs its hearing checked.

*hears mention of the desert worm on entering*

Pehaps I'll pop back later!

brings Hypatia a slice of hot apple pie a la mode with hot caramel sauce, whipped cream and a cherry.

*smells fresh apple pie and detours into the library, where she takes in the scene*

Huh! Look what the Shai-Hulud drug in!

Hypatia, are there passwords for both coming and going? I would feel better knowing that the entire contents of Starship Troopers could only bang helplessly on the gate on their side...

Eleven is able to enter from the outside, but everyone else will have to have someone inside the portal key in the password. So, no, we won't be overrun by errant Starship Troopers or, thank goodness, desert worms. I opened the door for Eleven because he appeared bout to be eaten.

Sorry Lil, I should have offered you some pie.

Thanks! *nods to both Hypatia and DD and accepts pie*

*finishes her pie and gives Eleven a cross look*

What do you mean I have to take it back? Do I look like a sandrider? Do you see this gray hair twisted into a tight little bun? This bun is the mark of an exasperated librarian trying to maintain a semblance of dignity in the face of a totally unreasonable request. You brought it here....you take it back. And make sure you get it reinstated properly. I don't want one of my favorite books messed up.

*Eleven does some calculations, shakes his head then stomps off toward the kitchen.*

Where are you going, now? You can't just leave it out there!

*several bots wheel in a large rolltop desk wrapped in a blanket*

Very nice.

*busies herself organizing her new desk. Notepads, ruler, pencils, staples,stapler, tape dispenser,tape, Sears List, Cutter book, OCLC forms, chocolate covered peanuts, book tape, cloth tape (brown), cloth tape (white), nylon tape, Scotty peeler, fire extinguisher, 7-day loan stickers, chocolate-covered raisins, yellow hi-liters, book paste, paper clips, scissors, letter opener, overdue notice cards, label protectors (clear glossy), label protectors (clear matte), receipt printer rolls, quiet sign, chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, patron complaint forms, requisition vouchers, key to wind clock, key to filing cabinet, key to secret drawer, nail file, eyeglass cleaner, hairpins, Do Not Put in Book Drop stickers, Library Use Only stickers, swizzle sticks, tea cozy, trashy mmp, bandages, stamps, snake-bite kit, passwords for rift portal, map, lemon drops, insulated coffee mug.*

Well, that filled up in a hurry.

*Wanders in and looks around.*

Very nice. Verrrrrry Niiiiiice.

*Walks over to Hypatia's desk.*

Here, I brought you a library warming gift.

*Hands Hypatia a bag of chocolate covered almonds.*

Hope you like chocolate covered nuts.

Thanks Garius. Gratefully accepts the almonds and adds them to her stash.

Well, you see it's important not to eat things with crumbs in the library, and nuts, er, chocolate or otherwise, have no crumbs, so I usually keep several bags on hand, in case of a late night.........it's not that I'm addicted to them or anything.

Hypatia, of all the things you've got distributed across your desk, I noticed you didn't have a lamp for those late-night stints in book keeping.

(He produces a brass lamp with a tilt-able green shade commensurate with the size and lighting requirements of her new roll-top desk. Stylish, not gaudy. Classic accoutrement for a classy Librarian.)

B4icheckoutmy1stbook

*whistles while polishing her new lamp*

Thanks B4. It's perfect.

Um... Hypatia. Is this Ffordeian Rift anything like a Freudian Slip? See, I get a bit embarrassed at the mention of 'unmentionables' like lingerie...

B4icatchthefauxpas