h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*turns to Lil* I've often wondered that about babelfish myself.

I suppose he could be one of the unnamed prehistoric "extras" from an Auel or perhaps a Jules Verne or Edgar Rice Burroughs novel. Have you noticed that we never seem to get any Bronte or Austen characters? if we're going to be invaded in this way, it could at least be by someone who knows how to make a decent cup of tea.

He makes eye contact with the small rodent. A strange compulsion overtakes him. He backs into a corner then slides to the floor and buries his head between his knees.

It is at times like this that he wishes he could duplicate Hypatia's famous sigh of exasperation. He looks disdainfully at the librarian and the dead babelfish from her desk drawer, unlocks the supply cabinet and retrieves a vial containing a fresh specimen. He removes the babelfish from the vial and hands it to TimorousBeastie. He watches as the small rodent scurries up onto the suddenly compliant caveman's shoulder and inserts the translator into his right ear.

The TimorousBeastie whispers something into the caveman's ear. Soon the caveman stops fidgetting and raises his head with a look of wonder in his eyes.

Continuity, CLIBOT11: you can't mandate how the caveman will respond to the babelfish, OR what Timorous Beastie does with the babelfish. I've just posted the Continuity rules on our forum page at the bottom of A304354.

Excellent! Well done, you two.

*she watches as Eleven helps Caveman Jack to his feet, goes into her boring librarian mode and begins to recite*

"The Babel fish is small, yellow and leechlike, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish."

Now, Caveman, what are we going to do with you?

Continuity. Very well.


Have you quenched your thirst, caveman? It is time to return you to the pages of your book.

* the timorous beastie feels that he has indeed been well and truly custard-pied and retreats back to whence he came

He watches the strange mechanical beast fiddle with the control panel. Suddenly a door opens, revealing a swirling mist. He grabs the short librarian by the arm and pulls her into the rift, where they disappear.

I've had about enough of tempramental mammals. I think I'll see if I can locate an Asimov novel to live in for a while. A few minor setting alterations and I'll be off. Of course it will permanently seal the door, but sometimes life, or in my case cybernetics, is always a trade off.

*He walks into the rift only moments before the door closes and then completely vanishes, leaving am ordinary wall in an ordinary room.*

*blinks (for he has been here all along, perched on a high shelf), cocks his head to one side and sighs, wondering whether he really saw 'the short librarian' being yanked into the rift, or whether he actually saw 'the short librarian' putting up some sort of resistance*

*wonders what babelfish taste like*

* sitting in his humble but comfortable abode, behind the wainscotting, the mouse is happy that he avoided the attention of the owl. A tear falls from the mouse's eye as he remembers the sad day his Uncle Arthur met his demise by becoming a Barn Owl's supper

*closes his eyes and dozes while he waits to see what's going on*

*wakes up, has a moment and flies down to the desk, where he attempts to open a drawer which he knows to contain useful liquids. Unfortunately, his wings aren't really designed for opening drawers and he gives up, hoping that someone with opposable thumbs will come along shortly with the same idea*

Glad that Ffordean Rift has been closed up. It was creating a draft in the Atelier!

I wonder where Hypatia went to?

*Ambles in head deep in 'The Whiteoaks'. In her hand appears to be a bottle of lemonade, as she puts the bottle down to unscrew the cap, she manages to spill it! She leaps back aghast as she realises she has picked up Continuity Bleach (TM CLI). What a relief she hadn't drunk any in error, she would have been permanently erased. But before she correct the error, Post 108 has been erased.*

Oh lor' who swopped bottles? Still, not too much harm done.

I'm sure Hyp will be along soon, Lentilla. Probably just popped out for a cinnamon and cup of Darjeeling.

*The seepage of Bleach leaks into post 109, which is also lifted from the page*


((ooc
Didn't spot 109 on my first read through and the seepage can continue if others wish to 'remove' their posts too /ooc))

*wonders why he thought he saw Hyp disappear - must be seeing things*

*enters the portal lounge in search of coffee, a cinnamon bun and some kibble for StarKist*

For some reason I feel odd this morning. It's sort of like deja vue, but not exactly.

Y'know, I had that too. For a few moments, this room seemed ... ordinary. *shudders*

Hyp, I've bought these books in for acquisition. I think they're really worth it and just right for the Atelier Library.

*puts the three books of the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud* This is another writer like Pullman, someone who has written children's books but is now writing stuff that adults can get a lot out of.

The trilogy takes place in an alternate reality of England, where the politicians are magicians who rule in a totalitarian manner. A young teenage boy is apprenticed to a minor magician, and conjures up a 4th level djinn named Bartimaeus -- way outside his scope but he has talent -- and the series takes off from there. It's quite funny in places, because Bartimaeus is a smart-a**. No sex, so it actually is suitable for children with a good vocabulary.

*acccepts the three volumns*

Thank you, Lil. These are excellent. They are in the YA section at the WCPL. "The Amulet of Samarkand", "The Golem's Eye", and "Ptolemy's Gate".


Methinks these would make a wonderful discussion topic for the teen bookclub I'm thinking of starting after the first of the year.


My goodness. There is an enormous amount of work to do here. These stacks are in dreadful shape. And there is quite a lot of cataloging and relabeling to do. I have clearly been spending too much time elsewhere.

*She takes off her jacket, rolls up her sleeves, and settles in for several weeks, maybe months of work. If anyone wants her, they will have to come into the library to find her.*