h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* Deja-vu sets in as Peet peels slowly off the wall with the sound of ripping Velcro(tm)...

*Affy (in Montressor's body) walks up, and easily picks up the frozen Affy*

Link, this is one time when I'm not bothered by a quick solution. And this time, *NO ONE STOP ME*!

*Affy runs back to the Totemizer, but stops*

Okay, someone freeze Montressor's body so that when we both get out again, Montressor won't run rampant in his own body.

[Unnoticed by Affy/Montressor, a small fly lands inside the Totemizer...]

[Mew puts them in, unfreezes Affy, freezes Montressor, and turns them on.]


Click.
Whrrr.
[Entire universe in the Totemizer with them]
BLOINGINGINGINGING!
ZAAAAAAARRRRRKKKKKK!


[Inside the Totemizer are now Affy, at Montressor's normal size, a fly at Affy's normal size, and Montressor (frozen) at a fly's normal size. All are in the correct bodies (except for the size consideration)]

}Hm. An unfinished Totemizer is unpredictable.{

Hmmm... This is a development I didn't foresee...

[Mew, d'ya think the giant fly would be interested in eating the custard over at the Saving the Galaxy Project forum?]

A giant fly? Oh, that's original...

[Fly, with the voice of "Droopy"]"Oh, My..."

* A few moments later the fly cackles and starts trying to stamp on a passing spider... The spider is suitably surprised...

[YK] Well, now we can go to the Rodentar system --

[Navi appears right next to link]

[Navi] {Hey!}

[Link] Oh, good, you made it here from the Esirpretne forum.

[Navi] {Don't go to the Rodentar system! Go to the Gerdeus system*!}

[YC] May I ask why?

[Navi] {Yes you may.}

[YC] Ar ar ar.

[*Footnote: The fourth planet of the Gerdeus system is Hylia, Link's homeworld]

}I think warp drive or even hyperspace would be too slow! We need an Infinite Improbability Drive!{

Well, as resident warp engineer, I can categorically state our drive is pretty damn improbable already!

*Affy (looking up at everyone, seeing that Montressor is about a head shorter than the average (and I use that term loosely) person), thinks for a moment*

No, we have to go through the Rodentar System. You see, the STUMPED villains have set up a gigantic battle scene in the Rodentar System involving us fighting the Raven, The POE, an army of mongol fighters, and a fleet of Rodentar ships (ha, ha, ha...). So, as you can see, we must (eventually) pass through the Rodentar System. Although we *could* pass through this other system on the way there or from.

What? You mean that fly was originally just a head shorter than an average person, *AND WE DIDN'T NOTICE IT*...?

No, I am looking up because Montressor is only a head shorter than the average person, and I am now the size Montressor used to be, as opposed to my average height.

I suspect you misread post #704, the salient portion being "Affy, at Montressor's normal size, a fly at Affy's normal size, and Montressor (frozen) at a fly's normal size"...

Are you okay Irving?
*Nurse scans him with a bio-scanner and taps it*

It says here Mr Irving Sir, youre technically dead!
*nurse gasps in amazement and stars to cry*

I dont want you to die Mr Irving!

*sobsob*

How the hell did my entry for Mission to Zork get into the Something Interesting for The Weekend conversation!!?? Im going mad I tell you, mad!

The way I read that was saying that I was the size of Montressor, Montressor was the size of the fly, and that the fly was the size that I was (all of these sizes prior to the incorrect Totemization process). So I would stand about a head shorter than most of the people here, because Montressor use to stand about a head shorter. How did you read it?


Whambamboo, don't worry, this is still the Mission To Zork storyline. It's jsut taken a few odd turns for the strange. Are you refering to an earlier post?

Ah, I see the ambiguity - I read "looking up at everyone, seeing that Montressor is about a head shorter than the average" as meaning that you looked up and saw Montressor to be now a head shorter than an average person... Forget the last several posts...

[Oh, and, Whambamboo, what happened was that you replied to the post at the bottom of the first page of the thread, not at the end of the thread - it's a common problem... )

[YK] Righto. Whatever. I have an Improbability Device right here that I'm going to use later and under different circumstances to save the day.

[YK drops the atomic vector plotter into the nice hot cup o' tea, feeds a big number into the Bambleweeny 57 sub-meson brain, turns it on, and looks on as an Infinite Improbability Generator appears out of thin air]

[YK] Well, Navi, can this situation wait until after a humongous space battle?

[Navi] {The odds are a thousand to one that you'll be able to /win/ the battle without going to Hylia!!}

[YK feeds this number into the Infinite Improbability Generator]

[Navi] {No! Wait! You'll need the Triforce --}

[YK] It ain't going to happen. Ganondorf Dragmire's got the Triforce of Power, last I heard, and he isn't going to lend it to us, so the Triforce isn't going to help us out.

[Navi] {--of Wisdom!}

[YK] Ah.

[Link] Affy? Where to? Do we go to my homeworld, or do we trust our fate to an Infinite Improbability Generator?