h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm wondering if Mr. Crepuscular has any malicious intent....I don't believe that the batc he came from was ever blessed by Marv.

You can find samples at http://www.h2g2.com/A424270
I'm still not sure if it's sentient or not. I'm taking no chances; in case it is sentient, I'm feeding it Weetabix and singing it songs to keep it company.

I suggest you train your keyboard to use its litter tray properly.

*smacks keyboard*

Naughty Aaron!

*Meanwhile, out on the Avenue of the Societies, nobody looks down to notice a misshapen, horribly moldy and crepuscular brownie, hobbling toward the Church of the True Brownie and muttering under its breath*

I suppose I shold escort it back....wouldn't want anything bad to happen to it.

No, that would be bad, especially if it's intentions are bad. Although, I wonder what it could do? Not easy to work without appendages. Walking alone is an amazing accomplishment.

*the brownie hauls itself painfully up the marble steps of the Church of the True Brownie and finds a place in the shade of a pillar, from where it begins to call out.
"Unclean! Unclean!"
"Alms for a crepuscular brownie, left to go mouldy, stepped on through no fault of its own..."
"Unclean!"

*An eerie chant can be heard twisting and turning in the wind*

There's gotta be a way There's gotta be a way There's gotto be a way There's gotta......

*Peregrin considers eating the brownie*

NO! DON'T EAT IT!

It contains many toxic substances that would make you very sick. Good thing I got back here in time to stop you. I was just over at your place taking samples of the white stuff.

*holds up test tube*

I'll need to confer with Affy to map out a test program. *glances at mark on counter were the crepuscular brownie had been* We don't want to, um, damage it.

I've got a humane mousetrap which might help.

Hmmmm. I don't know. What would you use as bait for a Brownie such as that one?

G7

Chocolate sprinkles?

Well, let's think like a brownie. What is this particular brownie's motivation?

*Thinks for a moment*

I'm getting a strange feeling. Something about air-tight containers. Maybe the brownie would want to be in an air tight container so that it wouldn't get any mouldier? Kind of like a reverse space suit.

Now, for Peregrin's stuff, let's work out something. We should probably start with a Psyche-Scan, or something. I think it'll take a lot less time to work with than the brownie.

Perhaps the brownie is agraphobic, and needs to be put back in its shrink wrapping.

Perhaps. Let's see how Mr. Brownie is doing.

*Turns on a device that is connected to all of the security cameras in h2g2. Sees the brownie, repelling any passer by. Then, in the distance, The Celery hops by, sees the Brownie, thinks for a moment, and makes a quick call on his cell phone. A few minutes later, a limo drives by, and The Celery leads the Brownie into the limo, making sure to put a few fifty dollar bills in the hat. The limo drives off towards The Celery's Campaign HQ. Affy turns off the moniter, grimacing*

Okay, that was interesting, and we probably won't have to worry about The Brownie for a while. Still, I hope that The Celery has all of the stuff he might need at his HQ. Now, where's Peregrine's stuff? Let's get that Psyche-Scan going.

Nods sagely

It appears that The Celery chose to care for the Brownie at his own home rather than at his campaign HQ (a little quieter probably). If you wish to visit the Brownie, The Celery's home is http://www.h2g2.com/A384257

*Peregrin tries not to vomit*