h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another couple of examples:

How many public schoolboys? One - but he just holds the bulb while the world revolves around him...

How many folk-singers? Four - one to change the bulb and the other three to sing about how good the old one was...

How many Psychoanalysts? only one, but the bulb has to want to change first...

And so on.

What about:

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - That's a hardware problem

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
None - darkness is an undocumented feature of the light bulb


Can't think of any more at the moment - will come back if I remember more

AndyF

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

- Two, one to hold the piece of chewing gum, and one to call for daddy.

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

- None. They define darkness as the standard.

How many h2g2 Researchers does it take to change a lightbulb?

I dunno, but they will get right on it as soon as they get back from lunch.

}:=8

Also "How many IS helpdesk staf does it take...."

None as "We have an identical one here and it works fine"

Carlas

How many college graduate students?
-One, but it takes him four years.

As far as the question,"How many H2G2 researchers does it take to change a light bulb?" I'd say that the average
would be 30. 1 to change the light bulb and explain how it was done, 1 to make fun of him for not doing it the
right way, and 28 more to start having a conversation about diesel trucks or some such!

hehe

How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. We just sit around and bitch until someone changes it for us.

How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. You got a problem with that?!?

The Traveler
ISO-9001 Certified

How Many Field Researchers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just One, but it takes the editors another three months to actually notice....

I can make this joke. This is my first official entry...

My better half actually works for a sand and gravel company; they've got loads of diesel trucks.

Big ones too.

How many pre menstrual women does it take to change a lightbulb?
"One and IT'S NOT BLOODY FUNNY"

How many Vietnam vets to change a light bulb?

I don't know.

YOU CAN'T KNOW - YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!

In answer to your first joke, the hardware engineers at one company where I worked had a habit of saying that certain things that should have been 'hardware problems' would be solved in the software, because they thought that changing the software was easier. So the joke went like this:

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it's a hardware problem.
How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, we'll do it in the software.

The one I heard was:

Why does it take 5 women with PMS to change a light bulb?
IT JUST DOES, O.K!!!

I can make this joke, 'cos I'm a woman and have worked with men for long enough to be allowed to be sexist!

How many flu bugs to knock out the h2g2 hierarchy

One, they shared the glass at lunch

You mean they didn't all have their own straws?!

How many researchers DOES it take to change a lightbulb?
42. One to write an entry about the lightbulb and all that, 40 to read the entry, post messages about the entry (and other stuff), and one to go and change a lightbulb...

and that was really lame.

How many mormon youth does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. One to organize a youth activity around changing the lightbuld, 2 to phone everybody, and 7 to show up and watch the lightbuld get changed.

Wouldn't it be more than that if they brought their multiple wives along?

Okey Doke,

Hows about:

How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?
One,Two One,Two One,Two

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

6, one to change it, 5 to stand around saying 'Try it now, try it now'

H&K
Z