h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't believe people haven't heard of the Assembly Rooms at George Street. The calibre of performances in there has been widely reported in the media, especially two exciting new dancers and a magnificent sultry (yet fiery) torch singer at a recent event. Get on over to my home page and you can watch a video of it. Well okay, you can read about it under the above title. (Sorry, can't do those cool link things).

As a slight twist:

Why does it take so many teenage girls to srew in a light bulb?

Just because!

try this:

http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?thread=31875&forum=6380

and see where you end up..

Hey, I get it now Prez. It's just a cut and paste job, isn't it?

Anyway, don't make light bulb jokes to the janitor at the Assembly Rooms in George Street. With half-a-dozen rooms each with two or three enormous chandeliers twenty feet in the air light bulb jokes just aren't funny to that guy.

As I recall, Prez, you were about to jam with us on sax before the Millennium Haze came down. Do come over to my place, "Back at Spiny's Rooms", if you're still feeling musical.

Lightbulb Jokes? I've got a few...

How many scorpios does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They LIKE the dark.

How many druids does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
They don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in stone circles.

How many flautists (flute players, just incase it wasn't spelt right) does it take to change a lightbulb.
Just one, but they'll fiddle with it until it's JUST right.

How many clarinettists does it take to change a lightbulb.
Just the one, but they'll go through a boxful to find the perfect one.

(I've got more if anyone want's to hear them - sorry about the music ones if there's any musicians out there, but I play clarinet and I still think it's good.)

im on my way...

Sorry about this lengthy list, but I just got this in my mail box.

"How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?"

golden retriever: The sun is shining. The day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned-out light bulb?

border collie: Just one. I'll also replace any wiring that's not up to
code.

dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

toy poodle: I'll just blow in the border collie's ear and he'll do it, by
the times he's finished rewiring the house my nails will be dry.

rottweiler: Go ahead, make me!

shi tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling! Let the servants...

lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Can I?

malamute: let the border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

cocker spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.

doberman pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark!

hound dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

irish wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

pointer: I see it, there it is, right there......

greyhound: It isn't moving, who cares?

australian shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle.....

old english sheepdog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a
light bulb?

My Dad was a truck driver for 30 years. That's how he met mom. She worked in a doctor's office and he..........

Norfolk terrier: Can I play with this new bulb? Let me play with the old one then!

(I own a Norfolk terrier, and he plays with anything you leave lying around!)

Got any more musicians lightbulb jokes???
I didn't get offended.. and I play some instrumets too, one of them is clarinet..

How many bass guitarists?

Just one, but he'll do it if the light bulb's powerful enough and somebody gives him a hand up the stairs with it.

Electric Guitarists?

Only one, as long as it's a 1957 bulb, the one with the slightly flattened top, you don't want a round one because that was made after the factory got taken over by Megacorp, and it should "ping" in G sharp if you tap it. And make sure you get the screw-in one: the bayonet doesn't work as well, and if it has the print on the side...etc, etc.

lighty bulbies.........muscianies?
confused fairy.........

light bulbs suck...........
my weekend was arse........
im tired.........

Erm, I don't know if I know any more musician lightbulb jokes, but I know plenty of the usual ones...perhaps I should do a guide entry for them, then again I might end up with a lot of angry musicians complaining.

Well, if they feel like that then I suppose they can tell me all the clarinet/sax/piano jokes they want - some of them are the best!

Well, why not start a forum with jokes under different headings, sort of a reference page. So if you're writing a speech and you want a joke about hedgehogs, you go straight to that page. Just a thought.

That's a better thought than I could have ever had. Who's going to start it?

well since you had the idea, oh inventive spiny one,
methinks should it not be you?
*knows very well that his own debating contest idea still has very little progress to boast*

How about these:

How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six. One to write the specification, one to write the algorithm, one to write the code and three to write the documentation.

How many Gestepo agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ve ask ze questions!

How about these:

How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six. One to write the specification, one to write the algorithm, one to write the code and three to write the documentation.

How many Gestepo agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ve ask ze questions!

Ah...erm..is that the time? Got to run or I'll miss my bus.

hedge hog jokes? who the fxxk want sto hear hedgehog jokes......