h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Technoyokel sneaks in furtively and scrawls on the wall in pink marker pen '****** is a ****** and so are you' then she sneaks out again.

*Zedley saunters in. Handily, he has an indelible ink pen in his pocket and writes;*

"that's as maybe, but *********** writes Beach Boys parodies about sheeps!"

H&K
Z

*enters, carying can of spray paint. In large letters across the doors of the stalls he scribes:*

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM VANDALISM

*sticks smaller, less obvious notice on inside of the stalls, and at the urinals*

NOTICE:
Please, if you're going to mark the place up anyway, at least keep it artistic, or at least somewhat clever. Maybe if you made it rhyme, or gave it a witty turn of phrase, or drew a pretty picture next to it, that'd be something, but this is just vulgar. As my grandfather once said, "Profanity is the crutch of inarticulate mother #@*&%ers". He also said "Don't eat the yellow snow," but that doesn't seem to apply.

Thanks,
The Management

*consults handy book on graffiti and writes*

%%%%%% %%%% %%%% off, big nose. And the duck you flew in on!



H&K
Z

I can't %%%%%% %%%% %%%% off, I work here. And my nose isn't that big either.

~Irving

*sneaks in furtively as she shouldn't be here at all, and pushes up the end of a bright red lipstick... and puts peg on nose!*

'If you think this one is big, you should see the one which sunk the Titanic!'

*spots Shazz*

Oh, come to test out the Men's Room Etiquette that you leant from the file I sent you? *laughs*

OOps! I've been spotted!
Ummmm... I would, but there aren't any huge hairy men in here for me to avoid atm! LOL
shazzPRME>>>>>>>>>>>>>> heading for the door!

*follows Shazz*

I think we might be safer in the ladies.

Oh hang on

*grabs Shazz's lipstick and writes "Once there was a man from Venus..."*

*adds*

Who's ego was coming between us

~Irving

*sneaks back in and continues*

...he said:
the trouble with big boys
is they're obsessed with their toys...

*Scrawls*And he coughed as the doc grabbed his...

toys and he made such a noise
all the town began to suppose......
monsy (who really isn't here, it just appears that way )

... that someone was pulling his.....nose?
shhhhhhhhhh...... I'm not here!

*scrawls*

I used to live life in a womb
I'm headed for death and a tomb
But here in between
I'm spending it seems
All my time in this here toilet room

~Irving

*new writing appears as if by magic!*

I also seem to be stuck in this loo
With nothing better to do
Then write on the wall,
Sneak off down the hall
And annoy yet more people in h2g2!

shhhhhhhh!

These poems get a little bit crass
But I'd better be headed for class
But I'm stuck on this pot
And believe it or not
I just can't get off of my bum

What's all this writing I see?
I only came in for a pee
As I read on the wall
All this literate scrawl
I've pee'd on my feet, Dearie me.

*enters with mop, cleans up mess under urinal*

Sorry Irv