h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think that he's trying to find somewhere to plumb it in!
shazzPRME

It's the fact that he keeps puting the end in his mouth and blowing that worries me.

..hmmm. i'll see what i can do...

*merrily starts pumping out metallica songs on sax, despite the fact that the sax was never built to be so BADLY abused.*

no...that doesn't sound quite right either. i know!

*plays "Yankee Doodle Went to Town" while waiting for a request he can get a good grip on in his semi-lucid state. pulls out toothpick and sticks in mouth for emotional effect.*

Ooops Sorry Bahb, nearly mistook the end of your sax for a rather flash urinal. Could of been nasty!

If you are taking requests might we hear Bach Togatta en Fugue D minor?

That's a bit heavy for a sax... let alone for music to empty yourelf to! How about some Brubeck? "Take 5" just about sums up the time spent in these facilities!( Unless some of you have brought your own reading matter of course!)
shazzPRME

How about "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"? That has a nice "going to the toilet" feel.

'Bakerstreet' perhaps ?

TM.

I parsed that last as "Backstreet" For you who have been spared this abomination, the Backstreet Boys are a horrible Boy Band here in the states.

GROAN ! Marv, please don't do that again. I was referring to 'Bakerstreet' as written and performed by Gerry Rafferty....with the fantastic sax-solo by Raphael Ravenscroft.


Winding you way down on Bakerstreet
Light in your head and dead on your feet
Well another crazy day, you’ll drink the night away
And forget about everything.

This city desert makes you feel so cold
It’s got so many people but it’s got no soul
And it’s taken you so long to find out you were wrong
When you thought it held everything.

You used to think that it was so easy,
You used to say that it was so easy
But you’re tryin’, you’re tryin’ now.
Another year and then you’d be happy
Just one more year and then you’d be happy
But you’re cryin’, you’re cryin’ now.

Way down the street there’s a light in his place
He opens the door, he’s got that look on his face
And he asks you where you’ve been, you tell him who you’ve seen
And you talk about anything.

He’s got this dream about buyin’ some land
He’s gonna give up the booze and the one night stands
And then he’ll settle down, it’s a quiet little town
And forget about everything.

But you know he’ll always keep movin’
You know he’s never gonna stop movin’
Cause he’s rollin’, he’s the rollin’ stone.
And when you wake up it’s a new morning
The sun is shining, it’s a new morning
But you’re going, you’re going home.


That is most deff. not something the B*ckSt*** Teenagers could have pulled off...


TM.

bOTH THE bACKSTREET bOYS AND bAKER sTREET BY g.r. ARE BOTH AWFUL.
i'M OUTA HERE.

i HATE cAPS lOCK!!!

TM's dictum :

"Taste is personal, quality is not."

So based on musical and other qualities I have to disagree with you.


TM.

Oh BTW : Try pressing CapsLock again, it usually helps...

ok, folks, i feel the need to quiet this party (for lack of a better adjective) down. but i'm not going to. so, for any of you who have heard of the California Guitar Trio, and own their live album, you'll appreciate this next tune. we CGT fans like to call it Blue Monkey.
*lets out 5 minutes of totally tuneless hogwash reminiscent of a whale being slowly tortured*
don't believe someone would actually publish that and label it "music"? can't understand why that song would be in an album by the greatest guitar group ever?(the operative word there being "guitar") join the crowd!

*starts a mournful presentation of "Night on Bald Mountain" before realizing that this piece was meant to be frightening rather than sad. Fixes this by playing a mournful presentation of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"*

btw, feel free to totally ignore the hat i have so subtly placed before me to contain tips for my Wonderful Water-Closet Wailing. (I feel the title of a Platinum CD coming on!)

*looks at still white ceiling...hrmm....*

"If you read this you are peeing over your shoes..."

(TM was here).

*Walks in and throws a bundle of dollarbills in the hat*

Yo, mista - let's hear some Ben Webster!

*walks into a booth and shuts the door behind him*

*Mutters something about http://www.h2g2.com/A358841 and leaves*

i think it's about time to take a short caffiene break.
*takes out sign that reads:[OUT TO TEA-BE BACK BEFORE YOU CAN ZIP BACK UP-BAHB THE WONDERFUL WATER CLOSET WAILER.]
puts sign in corner. leaves.*

*flushes, leaves booth, visibly delighted*

"Those were the best 22 hours of Ben Webster continua I've ever spent"

*leaves, humming to himself*

This loo has got a bit cultural since I was last here! I don't think I've heard any music in a toilet before except a bit of drunken singing.
There hasn't been much appropriate toilet music written really has there? Handel's water music maybe...Why are toilets ignored in culture? No music, paintings, novels, poetry or cinema seems to show this essential part of life very often.