h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Shall I compare thee to a badger's day?"

That sort of thing, except funny or clever.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the badger, his arse aflame like the sun.



And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the badger, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the badger: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.
(taken from the Book of Revelations which goes on to describe the four Badgers of the Apocalypse)

O, badger, Kea tell us to invent
stinky verse, terse or excellent,
to praise your mustelid loveliness.

O, badger, how thy worth with modesty may I sing
when thou are all the better part of me?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of the badger, it was the age of hooveryness...

swl
didn´t see your post swl,I was under the "rapture" of writing.

Badger never gonna give you up!
Badger never gonna let you down!
Badger never gonna run around and desert you!
Badger never gonna make you cry!
Badger never gonna say goodbye!
Badger never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!

I had a badger in Africa, at the foot of the Ngong Hills.

Oh, sweet and lovely badger, be good
Oh, badger, be good to me
I am so awf'ly misunderstood
So badger, be good to me
Oh, please have some pity
I'm all alone in this big city
I tell you I'm just a lonesome babe in the wood,
So badger be good to me.

Oh badger be good to me.


With apologies to Gershwin and Ella Fitzgerald.

I am the badger

Goo goo g' joob

Goo goo g' joob

Goo goo g' goo

goo goo g' joob goo

juba juba juba

juba juba juba

juba juba juba juba

juba juba

Roses are red,
Badgers are black and white,
Step outside the pub, and lets have a good ole fashioned fight...


I WANDERED lonely as a thermonuclear power station, That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a badger.... running away from a snake... being chased by mushrooms...
Thrice the brinded badg

Badger, badger burning bright
in the foray of the flight
wad a mortal hand or eye...
Yikes! A tigger!


~jwf~

jwf

"It was a dark and stormy badger; the rain fell in large, wet furballs--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent sett of badgers which swept up the streets (for it is in Badgerville that our scene lies), raging along the freeway, and fiercely agitating the scanty skirts of the less agile or quick-witted girl badgers."

"As if in answer to her pious prayers, the bush suddenly parted to reveal a tall, handsome badger, the kind of badger, Goddefer suddenly realised, that she had always wanted to meet, without even knowing that such a badger existed. Her furry handsome face, under a cap of dusky fur, was made even more attractive by her air of decision and authority. Goddefer caught her breath as she saw that the badger wore a latex uniform and insignia of the Sommershire Badger’s Volunteer Whipper Corps, with epaulettes on her flanks that marked her as a Field Marshal."

"We shall abolish the orgasm. Our Badger neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the badger. There will be no love, except the love of Big Badger. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated weasel. There will be no art, no literature, no science, no yappy dogs. When we are omnipotent there will be no need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing cute furry mammals will be destroyed. But always—do not forget this Winston—always there will be the intoxication of Badgerdom, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a badger stamping on a human face—forever."

to all the above! Wow!!

I agree Lots of these are hilarious.

Karma karma karma karma karma badger
You come and go, you come and go.
Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dreams,
Black white and grey, black white and grey.

RF

"Go not to the badgers for counsel, for they will say both yes and no."

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose badger-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."