h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Occasionaly you get an email that is worth passing on and is worth building on. I think the comments in this mail are spot on. Anyone want to add more? Then we can forward that on and become world famous etc.



THESE ARE JUST FACTS OF LIFE - FACE IT!!!!!
> 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
> 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
> 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
> 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
> 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a big fire in your back garden and at what point does it become illegal?
> 10) Nobody has ever dared to make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
> 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
> 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
> 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
> 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
> 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
> 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
> 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
> 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
> 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
> 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
> 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
> 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
> 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
> 24) You never ever run out of salt.
> 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
> 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
> 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your head stuck in something.
> 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
> 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
> 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
> 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
> 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
> 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
> 34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
> 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip
>

They are all so true!

36- Everyone who owns a computer/mobile phone has at some stage written/texed something they shouldn't have when drunk. And in the morning the evidence is there in black and white (or is that just me)

37- Dessert is always tastiest when you are too full up to appreciate it. When the meal hasn't filled you up, it is always rubbish and tiny.

38- Eggs only remain in tact when you are going to scramble them. When you are looking for a fried egg with unbroken yolks, they always burst when the shell is cracked open.

39- damn this this is hard...

Apart from the swan one. Well, it was his leg actually, but I did see it happen.

B

All so true! How about this one....

No matter how long you are away for, and no matter how carefully you clear it out, you will ALWAYS find something mouldering away in the bottom of the fridge when you get back from holiday..

Zantic

Anyone who works with or appeals to children will be accused of being a paedophile by a tabloid after their death.


Everyone has a key under their stairs with a purpose they have forgotten.


You can't say 'everyone remembers where they were when Kennedy was shot' without the conversation eventually being about 9/11.


You can't walk about in public carrying a bunch of flowers without a woman saying 'aw thank you' or a man saying 'what have you done?'

OH, and at least once a week you will preview a message thinking you have posted it, then a little later wonder where your thread has gone.

In my case, at least once a month I will accidently create a Guide Entry instead of a journal entry and then have to delete it through acute embarrassment.

B

Everyone knows the words to the 'shake n vac' commercial.

Brits only moan about our lack of tennis talent during the Wimbledon fortnight.


Everyone remembers only one Jim'll Fix It - the one with the kids on the rollercoaster.

at some point you find yourself saying to your children exactly what your parents said to you.

you always get chatted up more when your not single

That last one is _so_ irritatingly true.

B

Any one person cannot name more than two Julie Andrews films.


The dotty stuff on car 'ceilings' makes your eyes go funny.

One pointed out by someone on this site:

The opening track on a rock compilation CD is always by Queen.

Media coverage of the Notting Hill Carnival will ALWAYS show a fat black lady dancing with a policeman.

I wish to dispute 30.


Operating a zip without due care and attention.

It is inposable to photograph an animal in its perfect position.

Without a camera they will not move ar care you are there, as soon as the camera lens is pulled to the eye, they move away.

At w*rk, those who talk about 'teamwork' dont play for *your* team

No matter how long you stare at the preview, you'll never spot that one mistake until just after you click "Pist Message"

You will have a bad hair day, no clean clothes, a spot or lose something only when you have the least time to correct it.