h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i have always wanted to got a cricket, soccer, rugby, football etc game and take like a pellet gun or somthing, and as the ball is flying towards the goals to make the winning points, take out the gun and shoot it down so it falls

slap my landlord around the face with a wet kipper

try and propose that the theory of relativity is incorrect, when they ask you why, just say "you just dont understand" and keep on saying that

In one of the stores here, they used to have huge stacks of wine glasses, beer glasses and the like.... I wanted to let rip in there with a baseball bat! RAAAAAAARRRR! DESTRUCTION!!

ahem

Q

Buy an aeroplane and a parachute, fly up to a parachutable height, point the plane in the direction of nothing at all (ie out to sea) and then jump out ...

pull the bottom can from one of those big pyramid stack of cans they have in shops.....CRASH!

Do you ever wonder what you'd do if everyone died except you? I'd pick out one of those glass/china ornament shops and go in with a baseball bat.

(hopes no psychoanalysts are reading this)

my notebook is filling up fast spinks !

Get in a cab, and tell teh driver, "follow that car", pointing to an unlikely looking car...

I'd love to become a naturist and walk into work with no clothes on - actually I'd love to do everything with no clothes on (except in winter then I'd wear a big smock/blanket)...I'm planning on becoming a full time naturist on the day I retire from work

Tabitca, I'm always a little relunctant to tell people about my dreams because I think someone psychomologically knowledgeable may overhear and say "oh my god, that means you're a....."

(apologies for going off thread)

don't worry spinks it's only theory....you don't have to take any notice of it it you don't want to. dream analysis is often thought to be conjecture.Psychoanalysis is not an exact science.

You know when you're parking/pulling out of a parking spot/pulling up to a junction and the person driving the car you're approaching looks across at you? Often they smile in a sort of sign of solidarity ... I've always had an urge just to drive into the side of their car just to see the look on their face ... make sure they know that it was totally intentional ...

Slap Tony Blair and George Bush.

Hell, actually I WOULD do this...

Ekki - I have the urge to just crash my car into everyone - just to see peoples reactions. Like when someone's at traffic lights and hasn't noticed the lights changing, instead of a friendly toot I'd love to just ram repeatedly into the back of them. I blame american drivers - I only developed this urge after spending 2 weeks driving (behind idiots) in florida.

Oh,oh,oh... I would love, the next time some idiot pulls out in right in front of me because they arent looking for m/bikes, to boot their car door in. So much more satisfying than riding in front of them signalling them that a)they should look before they pull out and b)they are w**kers

... we could go on a Bonny and Clyde type crashing spree PQ ...

There's the other slightly more warped variety which is the pretend to hit someone with something ... golf club, tennis racket, cricket bat, but really do ... I imagine the look would be one of complete miscomprehension and bamboozlement ...

"you don't have to take any notice of it it you don't want to"

good one, Tabitca, you probably make an excellent therapist.

I really wanna do that too! If it wasn't for all the hassle and money and being sued/arrested, I'd probably do it too.
Some days it takes incredible restraint not to just let rip!

I have often thought about doing this. When I'm trawling round the supermarket and come across some numpty who's abandoned their trolley in a place which inconveniences the rest of us - eg across the aisle rather than tucked in out of the way - I'd like to highjack the offending article and leave it in an area marked 'selfish gits'.

I'd also like to put 'selfish git' stickers on the windscreens of cars which are parked inappropriately.