h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, and I would love to find some police hanging around, and then perform a citizens arrest for loitering...

too many posts happened while I was typing mine...for clarity, I was talking about crashing into idiots just cos I feel like it and they've annoyed me!

How about a threesome with my girlfriend and her twin sister.

is that an open invitation?

Think I'm on a roll now.............

There's a young guy who frequently drives down our road TOO fast, at all hours of the day and night, with his car stereo so loud that our windows rattle. You can actually see the sides of his car pulsating with the beat.

I'd like to lie in wait for him with a stinger, haul him out of the car and then inflict the same amount of damage on his eardrums as he inflicts on ours. And for good measure, I'd break up his in-car-sound-system with a 14lb hammer.

In reality - I'll just wait for him to grow up and hope he doesn't kill anyone in the meantime.

buy a monster truck - solve all the problems of traffic jams!

J.J

walk around the supermarket and take stuff out of other people trolley (and put stuff in)

And walk around putting my parking tickits on other cars, perhaps altering them a bit by scaning, altering and printing, maybe even do this to some cop cars

confession time

I've done the thing with the trolley - although I usually just move them somewhere odd (like the petfood aisle) and stop off by the medicine counter to buy them a couple of condoms and some hemerroid cream and hope that they don't spot the additions until they're unloading their shopping at the checkout

And don't get me started on inconsiderate parkers especially people who park in disabled spaces and then leave the badge owner in the car while they do their shopping

I've moved on from confronting people directly now though (after a nasty experience with a french lady), I now try to carry my camera with me at all times and just take photo's including the number plate and forward them on to the local papers/police...thinking about building a website too

i think most of the stuff we have said, has already been done on jackass (how i love that show)

I like your trolley tactics PQ

Aye, they should employ someone to stand by the disabled parking spots with a cricket bat and use it to break the legs of those park there and shouldn't. You want the space, you gotta have a disability to go with it. Sounds fair to me!

On a similar note, it irritates me when able bodied people sit in the front seats on a bus.

I'd like to stop cyclists who go through red lights (often pedestrians ones I am crossing at) or who generally don't think the rules of the road apply to them. I wish the police would actually apply the fines for doing these things. Cyclists should be licensed.

i got pulled up by a traffic policeman once for biking through a red light when there was absolutely no traffic around (apart from the wretched policeman who must have snuck up behind me).

Still on a car theme I'm afraid....

You know those people who open their car windows and jettison all kinds of c**p out onto the road?

Well - I'd like to arrange for a big fist to come out of the sky and flatten them - a wee bit. Like to see them chucking their soiled drawers out of the window!

I'd prefer it if for every item they chucked out ten got chucked back in...or maybe if they could just hear me shouting "dirty scumbag litterbug" at them that would work too.

I'd like to build a little fort in my office out of box files - preferably so noone could get through the door

invent a reality viewing machine and get people who persist in skewed views of the world and force them into it so they can see how stupid and ignorant they are being.

the mind boggles...

When I worked for an insurance company (zzzzz living death) the man replacing the CO2 cannister dropped it and the seal split releasing all the CO2 and a big cloud of 'smoke'. This was loud. And when I say loud I mean LOUD. I'd love to see that happen again. Was the most interesting thing that happened in ten years

bog, bog,