h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The fact that i HAVE to be able to see a clock whereever i am

Can't help it, just need to see one!

nGi ate peeple who don't make cents, like the Blank of Ingrid peelers, they DADAduhdon't do much else.
Why?

Oh I shouldn't worry about Mal, he's being surreal.

People who persist in trying to have a conversation on a mobile phone eventhough the reception is poor and they keep breaking up. Stop shouting "hello, are you there, can you hear me" and just call back in a little while!

When you or the person at the other end has the volume up too loud on a mobile phone, so everything you say you hear repeated back at you.

I was *saying*, I hate people who don't make sense. Then I added irony by *not* making sense, and a pun, by changing "sense" to "cents" and complaining about the mint at the Bank of England. Simple. Works on many levels.

The bank of england totally suck, dude.
Why are all their new pennies and pound coins, like, totally thicker than previous coinage?
I'm just writing in this lamer Bill and Ted speak to wind up roadkill (who I suspect is a mobile phone syntho pop addict).
Get a new errr Lathe or something, you bonehead welsh minting dudes!

Well, if they hadn't closed the Birmingham mint

Dude, that is sew todally nat cool. If there wuz, like mewbile phone acoustic blues I'd totally like it, but as it is, it sucks man.

Dude, you forgot ta be excellent to me dude.

It should be a PLIN number, then you could take the first and last letters of each word.
Anyway, People who make business calls at work, ask how someone is (when they don't care if they dropped dead) and then Say.........Good Good. This makes me cringe (very much)

The YAWN smiley on MSN Messenger. It only yawns once and then the smiley looks cross. If the other person hasn't seen it yawn then they don't know what it's about.

The MSN Messenger smilies full stop. I like the hootoo ones a lot better .

Yep. So often I go to use a smiley then realise it's an H2 one.

* drain hair

* feet

* socks and sandles- NO, NO, NO, NO!!!

* empty kettles

* smears on windows/mirrors/glass

* folded corners on books

Im sure to come up with so many more!

Beaches. These are one proof of God's nonexistence or total stupidity. Most people hate going home on a three hour car journey while their underwear and toe-gaps are filled with gritty sand, right? And what's the one thing sand sticks to most? That's right, freshly damp sea-water'd bodies. And where are all the beaches? Around the edge. And where are the cities, where most people live? In the middle. And just how near is all that seawater to all that gritty sand and all those nubile and exposed bodies? Right next to it. And where to people choose to dump their sewage? In the sea. Which is, if you remember, next to the beaches, which are coincidentally also where people choose to spend their leisure time.
It's all a bit silly.

Also, ppl hU spk like ths - evn when they r onlIN.
Or, worse, pp1 hU 5pK l1k3 t#15 - b\00d13 h4xx0r5.

Petty Hate:

Watching people I dislike -
breathing.

Ho ho ho
Tee hee

Motorists who think it's funny to splash pedestrians. I finally got my revenge today, this guy soaked me but then had to stop at some lights a little bit further down the road. He had his windows open so I just grabbed my water bottle and emptied the contents all over him. Revenge is a dish best served soaking wet

Good job!