h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm bugged by the fact that proper grammar often sounds just plain daft.

"It is I"

"Bad grammar is something up with which I will not put"

"none of them is..."

People who STILL say "You are the weakest link...goodbye" whenever someone makes a mistake. Get some self-respect.

That little tickle in the back of your throat that makes you want to cough all the time, but never shifts...

That tickle, deep inside your ear canals that's indicative of hayfever or allergies, and that will only depart if scratched by the sharpest, most pointed and hence dangerout-to-the-eardrums metal object that is at hand.

Retarded typos like 'dangerout', even when I've vetted my post before pressing "Post Message"

People driving dated BMW's who think they've got a 'flash' car.

People who you dont like and you know dont like you still try and make small talk with you.

'Gate'! ta Egon, that's been bugging me since I was *born*.

'...in a case the media have dubbed 'Beat-Up Waiter'. This reporter suggested 'Waitergate', but was shouted down at the press club.'

and, likewise;
'I'm a rageoholic! I just can't live without rageohol!'

Folk who are *proud* that they can't use a simple machine etc.
Even worse are the pathetic excuses they use:
"I won't learn to use the microwave because he won't do the ironing."
"I'm not enormously convinced by microwave heating of liquids."
(!")@!O! what's there to be 'convinced' by? you switch it on, the liquid gets hot. End.)

Worst of all is when they make you do it *for* them. And hover around stupidly asking 'Is it done yet?' whenever you get it out to stir.

Folk who are scared of something- spiders etc.- yet stand there going 'Nhheheuerhhh!' all scared, when you are trying to catch the bloody thing. If it bothers you, go somewhere you can't *look at it.*
Otherwise I might set it on you.

I really hate the way that when you go to the bbc radio 4 website and click the link to listen to the radio live it says "Welcome to BBC radio 4 online - double-yoo, double-yoo, double-yoo, dot, bbc, dot, co, dot, uk, forward slash, radio 4"

I know the s*dding url, how do they think I came to be listening? Drives me mad

In that vein, websites with midis or websites where the adverts are flash adverts and thus have music and sound and whatnot. This irritates the unholy hell out of me, because I usually am running a music CD through my computer whilst browsing, and these noises conflict with my CD player. If I want to listen to something on a website, I will pause my CD and click a button, thank you very much!

Enigineering work on the railways that will turn a half hour journey into a 2 and a half hour marathon

Why that line tomorrow!? Did they do it deliberately to piss me off and make my life hard?

...can beat that...
30 minutes into 4 hours!

(and I didn't have a book that day.)

Folk with a human interest story and a simplistic grasp on things who are given large newspaper coverage for everyone to sympathise with them whilst they state their misguided views.

Newspapers gloating over the way they were the first to panic everyone over something.

Calling programme trailers 'trails'.

People who don't acknowledge that you've just held a door open for them. (I'm not on about people I know, I mean when I'm out shopping, or at work.) This really p*sses me off, I have been known to start ranting at offenders.

People who say "Cheer up, it might never happen" - If I'm walking around with a face like a smacked arse, it's because it already has happened.

When the person(s) behind me at a bus stop starts squashing up to me and breathing down my neck as the bus approaches. - I'm not going to get on the bus until the people getting off, have got(ten SP?) off, it doesn't matter how much you push forward.

The use of txt cht, whassup ppl? and plz!!!! I find this particularly annoying if there is ample room for complete words.

And on a similar note, Men who cruise chat rooms looking for female names, and then sending a private message saying A/S/L plz? I'm obviously female, I have a female name, that's why you've chosen to send me a message... That one really annoys me.

I think that's enough for now..

3 Of 8 - Stopping there, before she really gets started..

Continue, 'tis fun.

The refusal to accept something isn't true (like BonsaiKittens) even after you have directed someone to Snopes and they've seen all the evidence.

Unarguable attractive actresses or models who pretend they don't like their looks or part of their body.

"I don't think I'm attractive" UGH!

BBC7 are *still* advertising this

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/drama/progpages/hitchhikers_solong.shtml

Looks good until you get to the very bottom and find it was over a week ago

Describing someone as an "unlikely sex symbol".

There is no such thing as an unlikely sex symbol. If someone thinks another person is good at what they do they should say so, not pretend they find them sexually/phsyically attractive.

I too get annoyed at people who don't acknowledge you've just opened a door for them or made way for them. Now I've got into the habit of saying "you're welcome" if they don't say thanks, nicely, not nastily, so they can't brush me off as being as ignorant as them... teehee!

People who refuse to do simple things even though it's well within their abilities! My mum is waiting for me to plug the tv into the video.. she's done it before! She used to hide the cables to get us to tidy up!!

Just checked out Bonsai Kittens on snopes! How people could think it's real! Although in slightly poor taste.. ahem. Gawd.

People who empty water cooler bottles and don't bother replacing them!

Q

Have u got the snopes link?

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/bonsai.htm

Q