h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Computers (PCs) and software that keep going wrong, freezing, giving incomprehensible error messages, warning you to close down properly next time if you don't want to see this blue screen again when in fact the computer/software itself prevented you from closing down properly.

That's just about all PCs and their horrible software I suppose.

Being asked if a relationship is "serious".

That irritating MSN pop-up that jumps up in front of a just-started conversation.

People saying pacific instead of specific.
And sickth instead of sixth.

People that don't signal at roundabouts

Stolen music...ie nicking bits of old tunes or sometimes whole melodies and putting new lyrics over the top eg. Sugababes "Freak Like Me" and the classic "Are Friends Electric" by Gary Numan.

Can people not write original music anymore?

When people don't scrape the 12 inches of snow off the top of their cars and it blows off onto your windshield when you're going down a freeway.

People who say "I'm not impressed". And you're worth impressing are you? Go away.

the generally woefull taste of most sliced bread these days- especially white bread

It just never seems to be fresh even when there's a week left to run.

There is no way to predict how the loaf will taste either-felling the packet(ooer) doesn't work anymore, as most bread is pumped full of so many preservatives that it NEVER goes hard, just starts to taste

In fact just dont get me started on this subject- i could go on for hours

someone buy me a breadmaker.. pleeese

the generally woefull taste of most sliced bread these days- especially white bread

It just never seems to be fresh even when there's a week left to run.

There is no way to predict how the loaf will taste either-felling the packet(ooer) doesn't work anymore, as most bread is pumped full of so many preservatives that it NEVER goes hard, just starts to taste

In fact just dont get me started on this subject- i could go on for hours

someone buy me a breadmaker.. pleeese

felling= feeling (!)

'breadmaker'? y'missing your hands?
I usually pretend the dough is a personification of petty hates.
however any sort of homemade bread fragrance- mechanically-aided or manual- could make us all much calmer.

Stupid daft old cows who talk about you and seem oblivious to the fact that you can blatantly see their obvious gurning, pointing, nodding and 'surreptitious' whispering in the reflective surface in front of you.

Heh. "Gurning" love that word.

People in apartment buildings who decide to stand on their balconies and scream at each other, or to yell at people on the ground floor instead of getting off their arses and walking down to talk to them.

Something that really pi**es me off is the way that scandals are always referred to as something-gate eg. Sven goran Eriksson's affair with Ulrika Jonsson was described on http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/2793457.stm as "Ulrika-gate" and Cherie Blair's use of Peter Foster in buying flats was referred to in the press as "Cherie-gate".

Writers who so this seem to think that it is a clever reference to the Watergate scandal, yet what the morons don't realise is that Watergate was the name of the bloody building! It was not a scandal about H2O fdor god's sake. Why must they insist on such a stupendously ridiculous reference.

Well, that's how I feel anyway.

cos the media think we are morons! i have boycotted the papers and magazines for a while now as i really hate the way they try to influence human free thinking. even people who say they are'nt affected by media hysteria don't quite realise how deeply they are. talking to people is far more enlightening. i also hate watching the news and documentaries for the same reason.

Along the same lines as Egons -gate thing...adding the suffix -aholic to mean "addicted" to something. Workaholic, chocaholic etc... does this mean you are addicted to workahol or chocahol?? NO!! It can only apply to alcohol.

good point. never noticed that before but now you have brought it to my attention it is bound to bug me!

creachy

Lady In A Tree- thank you- another example of the fast food generation being influence by the semi-literate morons who pass for newspaper editors.

Celebrities doing adverts. I can never take them seriously again once they've done a TV ad.

TV ads where the ad-writer has tried to write the script in the style of the celebrity appearing.
Eg the laconic style of Angus Deaton, or in Ant and Dec ads for Mcdonalds ('apparently you've never had it so good'). Cringeworthy.