h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

supervises calling to test you and telling you how xcrap you are in your second week at work.

People who don't move down on busy tubes or trains or don't even attempt to squeeze up a bit in the middle of carriage and carry on reading spreadsheet newspapers when there are really squashed people near door and others still trying to get on. If you ask them they may shuffle a few inches or not at all.
People who suck their teeth in annoyance - this is so insulting.
People who look annoyed or suck their teeth when you want to sit in a seat they have parked their shopping (or feet )on.

People flicking through magazines in WHSmiths about 2 centimetres away from the stand and then looking offended when you ask them to move aside.

Pop rant 1: I saw Ronan Keating being interveiwed on TV this morning. He said 'the music has always been more important than making money'. Thanks for giving me a good laugh this morning Mr K
If he wants to make a real contribution to the world of music he should retire. His voice has been desribed as being like "the mating call of a distressed goose".

Pop rant 2: Just seen a documentary about wealthy music stars. One guy talking about Robbie Williams said "Robbie Williams is the guy that all girls want to sleep with and all guys want to be". This really p***ed me off. Firstly I don't want to be Mr RW (Being a reformed drug addict and being able to have any superficial relationship I choose doesn't appeal), and secondly I don't like twits in the media having opinions on my behalf.

People (men) that stand and drink at the bar when the pub is half empty. Get your drink and move away so other people can get to the bar to order their drinks without having to squeeeeeeze in and feel intimidated. Please.

Smoking. Especially in public places. If you are that desperate to kill yourself, go do it somewhere in private rather than breathing smoke on those people who do not share your attraction to inhaling carcinogens, and then (I can't emphasise this enough) put your cigarette butt *in a bin*, and not on the floor. Every day I get a coach to school and have to wait for it with someone who smokes and then drops the cigarette butt onto the pavement. I do not need this at 7am.

Manufactured boy bands.
They take everything that is good about music, remove it and give us what is left.

Sorry TopCat, that'll be me then But I don't drop fag ends.

People that don't signal at roundabouts.

Sorry, Lady I meant.

The man who pushes his snack cart back and forth up and down my street all afternoon, honking his wocka-wocka horn over and over and over until I want to lob a brick out the window at him.

Ice-cream vans that never stop in my street.

Blazin Squad. I've just seen them on Top Of The Pops. Surely that's a p**s take? There should be a law against brain washing the next generation with that claptrap. If they want to act like Americans they should go and live there.

Men (I should say people but it is almost always men) that have really strong and pungent BO when they are at the gym.

We are all exercising, we all sweat, but some of us wash between visits and use antiperspirant/deodorant beforehand. The gag-making stench coming off of these guys makes it extremely difficult for me to do my workout because I am trying to do aerobic exercise without actually having to breathe any of it in

Oh god, Kelli, I hear that one! I nearly passed out at the gym one day last week on account of some guy's overpowering BO.

Bad table manners. Why must some people be so uncouth? I've got a friend who thinks it's terribly clever to belch loudly at the table in restaurants- 'in some countries, that's a compliment'... well, this isn't one of them, I'm afraid.

People who stand behind me on the train and insist on trying to push their briefcase, shopping bag, laptop, etc., up my butt crack. I finally turned around the other day and told some guy 'no matter how hard you push, it's not going to fit there'.

... Oh, and my roommmate. Everything about him gets on my last nerve.

Hmmm, the tube seems to be a meeting point for all the annoying people in the world. One day I'm gonna abduct one of them and tattoo on their forehead in big letters "Let people get off the train first".

You do encounter some of the oddest and rudest sorts of people on the trains. I've even had someone take a pee on my boot once.

It wouldn't be nearly as bad if the Transit Authority would attach a couple extra cars during the rush hours, so that everyone wasn't packed together like so many sardines. It just brings out all the worst in people.

Realising the instant that you click on 'post message' that you could have expressed something better.

TV producers who think programmes are boring without a thumping music soundtrack. Including one I saw with footage (and sound) of an erupting volcano, for heavens sake!
TV producers who can't keep the camera still for a moment.
In fact, modern TV producers generally. I just hope they don't notice that The Sky At Night hasn't had the treatment (Shh!)

Beige. I won't have it in the house if I can help it. It seems a waste of space, when there are so many good colours.

I was gonna post about TV music. It's even more annoying when the music chosen is so predictable. For example, as soon as you see something about a balloon you know they're gonna play that "up and away in my beautiful balloon" song.