h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is the THIRD time I am trying to post this; and bizzarely the last two attempts got lost because first the server and then my own hard drive - er - went down on - um - me.

What I wanted to do was add a suggestion to your comment: "Now this obviously causes problems with putting on a condom for a start.... if its not done quickly my erection goes down."

It would be possible for your girlfriend to put a condom on you using only her mouth. There is a trick to this obviously - and she needs to make sure she is using condoms designed to be tasted. Spermicide tastes vile and the taste of rubber and artificial strawberries is not much better. There are detailed instructions in some of the 'how to drive your man wild in bed' books.

I have to say that I find penetrative sex important but over-rated, and that I have a certain amount of nostalgia for the days when I was not as organised contraceptively as I am now.

And another thing I want to say - at the risk of sounding so twee that I want to make myself throw up - is that the experience you are going through, of mutual exploration and doing things for the first time together, is one of the most lovely things. I still have enormous fondness for the guy I shared most of my earliest sexual explorations with.

Blimey - what thoughts to start the day on...

Ben

Ben got it right before, although all of the advice is really great. Make sure that you communicate all of this to your beloved, because to a lot of ladies, no news is not always good news, theis is a really emotion charged area for a lot of girls and they like to be kept in the loop. And you know what, they might even have some good ideas. It's important to give yourself some time and space here (and I assume that you're not trying this under the influence of alcohol or other recreational pharmaceuticals). If it's up during foreplay, and goes down as you start the main event, go back to foreplay. You could actually while away many fun and interesting hours here. Remember it's like the 3 rules of marketing
1. Test
2. Test
3. Test
I'm sure that you might even find out some stuff that you never thought of but that you actually like. Finding satisfaction in your ability to satisfy your partner can be a good way of taking the pressure and focus off Mr Zippy and in any case it's just good bedroom (or kitchen or broom closet or tennis shed) practice if you really care for someone. Whatever you do make sure that your lady KNOWS that you are in to her if this is actually the case.

Explore your feelings aswell. Do you feel good about this, do you feel guilty or ashamed? why? Do you feel embarassed? why? do you feel that she might be better than you at it. Search your feelings, because with all of the heavy public sentiment coming from different groups since we can remember, there is bound to be some very rigid feelings we hold without even thinking about it...


TF

hi?

"It would be possible for your girlfriend to put a condom on you using only her mouth"

We have thought about putting a condom on with her mouth, but I don't think either of us are very keen to try that... mainly for the reasons you said. I certainly wouldn't want to put something made of rubber covering in funny smelling lubricant into my mouth no matter whether it's designed to be tasted or not.... so I certainly wouldn't expect her to do it (and to be honest, would probably feel a little uncomfortable if she tried).

"I have to say that I find penetrative sex important but over-rated"

I'd be inclined to agree with you there. I guess it's not really that we can only have penetrative sex for a few minutes (if at all)before it goes down, it's the lack of orgasm through penetrative sex that is causing me the most problems.... I just end up feeling frustrated and sometimes in pain due to several hours of arousal without orgasm (I'm sure all the guys here know what I'm talking about... trouble walking, anyone??). I don't relish the prospect of only being able to come through manual stimulation.

"If it's up during foreplay, and goes down as you start the main event, go back to foreplay."

It just seems to be that it won't stay up without constant stimulation.... so it's the transition phases such as between foreplay and the main event that are causing the problems.

"Whatever you do make sure that your lady KNOWS that you are in to her if this is actually the case."

I always tell her that it's not her, it's not that I don't fancy her, and that I really do want to makelove. Obviously I do pleasure her in other ways, she has several orgasms a night . She tells me that she while she would like me to penetrate her, she is satisfied and she doesn't want to put any pressure on me. The lack of penetrative sex is more of a problem for me than it is for her.... she could live without it, but it's just something I *need* to be able to do.

The fact that it won't stay up without the more intense stimulation that a hand can provide, and that even then I take way way longer to come than see does is really starting to get to me now......

One thing that struck me, re-reading the backlog, is that you will both end up better, wiser, kinder, more inventive and more experimental lovers as a result of this experience.

In fact, thinking back to some of the sex I have had, I am left wondering just how much of a bad thing it is....

Less flippantly, what is impressive is the wisdom with which you are dealing with this one. And for that I congratulate you.

Let me re-iterate the doctor suggestion. It need not be your GP, there are genital-urinary clinics all over the place. As Zagreb has said, there is obviously nothing wrong with the plumbing, but that does not mean that there is nothing which a doctor can do to help. And you can always ignore the advice; what you get is more choice not more pressure, and certainly not less choice, if you see a doctor. (Call them by their first names, it shifts the balance of power).

On the subject of non-prescription drugs, I find that the effect that cannabis has on the blood-sugar level happens whether or not there is food in the house. But that the effect on the libido depends on the presence of a libidee, as it were. Ie - just because it did not make you horny when you were alone does not mean it still won't if your girlfriend is around. Mind you taking it is bad for the memory because it blasts great holes in the brain, so I don't recommend it. (True, alas).

Ben

*agrees with Ben*

Not much point in having great sex if you won't remember it...

"what is impressive is the wisdom with which you are dealing with this one. And for that I congratulate you."

Thankyou

Re: doctors.

I'll give it awhile yet... maybe two or three months, but I'm not ruling it out competely.

Re: cannabis and memory.

Well... I was never really that fond of it anyway, and couldnt try it now because the smoke would play up my g/f asthma.

Anyone else with tips?? I'm finding all this very useful indeed. Thankyou everyone.

Talk with your girlfriend, you might want to try the birth control pill, that would cut out the need for the condom (also get tested for STDs if there is a need). Not to mention it feel much better and may get you to "reach orgasm" quicker.

Sounds to me like you are in need of some technical guidance.

In order to get more stimulation try changing your position. Get your GF to turn onto her right side and lift your right leg so that it is on top of hers across her groin. Her left leg should be hooked over the top of yours. Now reach round to her behind with your left hand and use your right hand to fondle her breasts or to stimulate her from the front.

Alji

reminds me of another position you might find stimulating:

Get your GF to kneel on the bed (doggy fashion) with her legs appart. Enter the love canal then both of you slide down flat on the bed so that you are face down on top of her. Tell her to bring her legs together and move yours to the outside. This will increase the pressure on the ol' todger and on her 'g' spot. What you do with your hands is up to you but I'm sure you can think of something.

Alji

try that way anyway even if u dont have problems cuz it is veerrry good!

omy

"A little variation on the missionary position, her legs closed yours on the outside, hands wherever she likes them works well too!"


"And of course there is always Viagra, the greatest recreational drug ever invented."

Hey, King, have you been circumcised?

We had a bit of a breakthrough last night Not sure what we did differently. Maybe it was the fact that we'd been to a family Birthday party and could do nothing but hold hands all night. Maybe it was that we were both really horny, didn't spend much time on foreplay and just got right down to it. Or maybe it was that her parents were due home in 20 minutes and we were on the sofa in the living room!!! Probably all three.

This time when I made her orgasm she didn't make me slow down as much, and it stayed on duty right to the end ;-D.

Re: birth control pill

She already takes birth control, we just use condoms aswell... maybe I'm just a bit over cautious, but there's no way I could support a child right now!!!

Re: positions

Will certianly have fun trying them out!!

Re: circumcision

No, I'm uncut.

Thanks again for the advice.... we're getting there slowly . More tried and tested postions would be good!!

Congratulations!!!!!In those circumstances many others would have wilted but you just took it in your stride?stroke?

Incog.

I'm proud to say I never have a problem with my erection. Finding someplace to put it, however...

You got a point there...

Neither did I *until* I found somewhere to put it.....

"You got a point there..."

Are you trying to make a comment about my size?