h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

press gang some men off the street? ..... can i recommend the fella in our local chipper (again).... he'd make a good lenny..

Well I wouldn't want to *force* anyone to take their clothes off for me......unless they enjoyed that sort of thing

No, I'm sure others will come, especially when they see the lovely treats we have in store for them.

Where are my gorgeous backing singers, I've got a whole box full of red lipstick here

"is this the audition for the backing singers?... what do you think?"

Well as that blouse seems to be a problem join me behind this screen and let me help you into this ridiculouly tight latex black dress, it says one size fits all but by the look of it parts of you may be stratching it to its limits!

"walks behind screen with Aye Bee with ridiculouly tight latex black dress, large tin of talculm powder, and extra size shoe horn and some bright red lipstick"

mmm.. errmmmmmmm.. urrrrrrrrghhhhhh dont think so daahling...

dai: 'let me help you there.. i'll hold these while you.. ....'

THWWWWAAAAACCCCCCKKK

*Dai emerges with a large hand print across his face, grinning, aye bee follows looking slightly irate, in the dress, just about.*


i'm not wearing this .. everyone can see my tattoo

"i'm not wearing this .. everyone can see my tattoo "

What the Made in Ireland one at the top of your inner thigh? Everyone could see that any way floawer, the dress just sets it off don't ya know!

Well your sorted as far as Im concerned, and I know how much you like to be sorted, soooooooooo.....

Oh you droppd your lipstick, its just behind you........

gosh so i did.....
hmmmmm. that's funny. i have my one in my hand.....hang on a minute!!
this one is superglued to the floor... what the??


dai:

Hello!

at last! Somewhere to park my bike.

Aha! My man-trap worked!


Mwahahahaha. Now we have another victi...er...model

*volunteers for backup / chorus singing*

park that there mate and it'll be the last thing you park anywhere..


*remembers where she is and smiles sweetly, a little too sweetly, coughs and straightens tiny black dress, looks awkward*

February you say? Well that's my excuse worked out then "It's the cold, honest!"

*snorts some charley, bites the head of another bat drinks another bottle of brandy waht the **** when **** *** my ************* photo?

*wanders in looking sheepish*

Ooh sorry I'm late with me reply, I strained my codpiece.

May will be fine , but don't forget my lovely assistants...

What assistants will you require, and I'll see if I can rustle them up somewhere?

Why my female assistants to rip off my lycra at the appropriate moment of course.

*looks sulky* can't believe you forgot *mutter*

I thought I had some voluteers in fact...

Oh sweetie

It's my age dear. Head like a...like a....round thing with holes in.

Now. Serpehina did volunteer some lycra ripping, I do believe. Do you want assistants with long nails? Or not. Cold hands? Shall we have them screaming as they rip? Or not...

ooh, long nails

ooh, screamers...

*cheers up*

Right. This calls for some industrial strength manicuring, I think.

'Phina! Aye Bee!

Tsk, can't get the staff these days...

Here, I'll just have to rip that lycra off you myself.

*sets camera to automatic*

utters very high pitched note

*adopts wide legged stance*

John Wayne is Big Leggy

*Think I'll just mosey into this corner and polish my fiddle, until LS is ready. Bit breezy around the f-holes though... *