h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh and I do mean spanking

Well with it only being 40 days to Christmas it's time to start planning for 2006. And I think we need another nude male calendar.

*a faint shout of "hurray!" is heard in the distance*

The theme this year is Rock Gods. So, all you budding male models out there - think of a rock god, strike a pose and I'll start snapping.

I will be rounding up some lovely assistants to help me in this sterling exercise (applying fake tan , mopping fevered brows , adjusting props etc), but I will be doing all the final touching up myself, as you all know I treat this as a very "hands-on" project.

Old fans and models will know what I'm on about - for those of you virgins out there, previous years' lovingly crafted works of art can be found at A2263637 and A949539.

New blood is of course very welcome

s in Me! Me! ME! can I be on it please? Hmm.... what pose to do ...

Of course you can darlink! You were such a good model last time, if I remember rightly, very eager to please...

Hoh yus! i was thinking.... either a classic Fredie Mercuary pose, or an Ozzy Osbourne... or perhaps some kind of artisticlly driven representation of DR Hook's 'freakers ball' song.... Could have whips involved in that one less of course you have a better suggestion?

Well you did nt think much of the James Last idea, but what about Alice Cooper look, or don't ya want me borrowing your make up again?

Psst - MAn in serious need of tissues, somethings running like a tap at the moment!

Damn this flu!

2legs I think you did Mr Mercury last time round, so I'm drawn to the Ozzy style idea..

Dai, you can be Last if you like. *hands a tissue*

Well, I think I've had some practise already so here goes...

*pulls on spandex , pied leotard*

*rips it open to waist*

*oils up his chest wig*

*grips microphone firmly in fist and punches it in air*

Freddie lives!

For the nude pose I think I might have to draught in some female volunteers to rip the leotard off completely

'volunteers to assist'

New blood ..... do you reckon Paully'll volunteer? As Robbie Williams?

Also: Ged as Marc Bolan (does that count as rock?)

Boo hiss, has my idea already done

OOooh

Mmmm *has a think*

*mutter* if only I hadnt had my hair cut recently!*endmutter*

Well Orcus, it was 2legs wot done Freddy Mercury last time (in a pinny, I think...) but I'm warming to your idea - do you think we could give it a trial run?

Serephina, how are you at ripping leotards? That spandex can be a bit hard to get a decent grip on.

I'll rip anything needing ripped

Oooh, a trial it is then

can i interject at this juncture and offere my experienced 'ripping' hands for your perusal....

purty puhleeez??

i have chocolate...
will share....

Well I seem to have found my volunteers

*wonders wether fluffing up his hair, sticking a fag in his mouth donning sunglasses and fetching a strategically placed hat*

Slash anyone?

Right. I need to tend to poor Dai.

*slips into uniform and packs some mansize Kleenex in her handbag*

Serephina and Aye Bee, I shall leave these lovely lads in your warm and capable hands until my return