h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

praise be indeed for the n o n t a b l e

Indeed this is a Holy Day in the nighthoover colander.

~jwf~





col·an·der
 –noun
a metal or plastic container with a perforated bottom,
for draining and straining foods.

Oh yea oh yea oh year fryly so as the clock spineth and we enterth the baconDay for as the hoover is the hoover so the saturday is the baconday and home made sourdough rye baguettes at teh ready as the eternal bacon sausage and egg time draws ever nearer under the watchcful noise ofthe hoover of the night
Lettuce hoover <bluebutterfly

"ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twentyone, twentytwo, twentythree, twentyfour, twentyfive, twentysix, twentyseven, twentyeight, twentynine, thirty, thirtyone..."

so, is there a sign yet?

Yes. "NO EXIT"

Are you sure?

Please do not walk on the grass.

Born Free
As free as the windows
As free as the glass grows

Any way the wind blows
For as true as the saling saints sailing away, or the rising dough which rises, the wind blows strong and true,
Through field across river, down valley and on,
The wind keeps blowing true
Blow fast, blowing slow, casting dust into the void
The wind it bloweth true and it blows for me as it blows for you
passing by unspeakible sights, its whispering tells no lie,
onwards and for eternity the wind that cannot die
Through old lands and lands that are new, the wind continues on,
Past people and houses and goats, on and on and on
Carrying only the truth, the words which never die
But telling none who listen to its faint and trueful cry,
Some speak of monuments to mankind, in quiet subdued pros,
Whilst others merely listen to the wind and the truths carried in its blow,
Forelorn the sorrow of those who cannot, or will not, listen in earnest to its sound,
Foresaking the one true truth, for they cannot look up from the ground lettuce spry.

How did I managed to miss this surreal conversation all this time? Does this represent an actual Cult or Sect of nighthoover? Without forcing me to read all 600+ pages, are there any specific courtesies, mannerisms, holy words, blessing, celebrations, holidays, or other acts of devotion I need to be aware of? Should I wear a specific item of clothing, pray, fast or prepare for damnation in advance of Sep 25, 2011?



Oh, and how do I cancel?

The Apprentice

Yes, and no. in that order. There is no alternative but to read the backlog, for the backlog is good, sometimes outsaine and mostly aubergine.

We prefer Cult over Sect. Now, how soon is someone going to contradict that? I'm betting 10 minutes or less.

"thirtytwo, thirtythree, thirtyfour,

thirtyfive,


thirtysix,





thirtyseven..."

We few, we lucky insaine few, we cult, we sect, we nutcases, we aubergine.

Goddammit! 11 minutes. You did that on purpose didn't you 2legs

we bothered rubberbands, we eggplants we

"thirtyeight, thirtynine, forty..."

"fortyone"

As surely as the eggplantations grow into noddlingly headed aangles of the countertops so too do the laminations of the lamposts fhrily engulf the swamp creatures as they flurble on the river of extatic elastic bands

I just realized, even though I'm an atheist, I'm a member of four self proclaimed cults.

Nighthooverism - lettuce spray
The Church of the Subgenious - Eternal salvation or triple your money back.
The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - May his noodly appendage touch you.
Tarvuism - It's so easy to join.

(Two of these Praise BoB.)