h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

there is always time time for beer a time for salad a time for hoovering and a time for kebab a time for pants and a time for trousers a time for fetta cheese, spring onion mayo and bacon a time for bacon tomato and lettuce a time for wallflowers to jump over gateposts a time for tuna cucumber mayo and a time for branston pickle and grated chedder a time for radioactive tadpoles and a time for lettuce a time for ponies and a time for handcuffs a time for lamposts and a time for totomoto a time for nontable and a time for mozarella tomato cucumber mayo and turkey a time for pineapples balanced precariously on top of policemen's hats a time for the man with the stick and a time for the hand that holds the hoover and, a time to lettuce spray

indeed there is time for boing < and time for winekeys time for onions which fix the drainpipe and time for pickled eggs, strangely shaped cucumbers and cheese and time for jumping up and down and shouting 'neee' loudly and time for removing the dust and time for toast with butter and cheese and time to sleep and time to drink and time to eat and time to eat and time to eat and time to wash the walnuts from out of our hair and time to find teh grizzly bear in the woods and time for painted wood muddy a mile long with Elvis smoking and time, so much time so much time and yet no time at all for all that as is is as it is unto that which it is unto like a wealth huge and wide and long, yet so small as to stretch wide over adn around and encompass all of time and space and those nice little tasty bits of party food, which pop out of the time with the mashed up remains of a long-forgotten pair of stockings, as they tangle and entangle and release and reveal, the time itself stretching back and folding inwards as the myriad forms of that which was to time as it was for time unto it itself, shouting and qhispering through the wind and the rain, like birds and insects flying annoyingly inside your legs, spreading the soft butter of time and storms far and wide as still yet the streching and insects use the radar to direct their spreading understanding of the natural blood stained gardians of the fallen bullets, waving awake the manager of the time, the ruler of it all, recieving the post and the wallpaper too, special mail, invitations to dance, and to exhibit bad behavior with teh police who menace the celibrated eyes, looking, watching killing and playing tennis, ten hands, page after page of hands, reading, reaching, socumenting old records, insulting swords and the man of the artichoke, evidence gambles to teh time, spreading the time yet more to the head, the start, the end through the window, on the path, across the law, and the wall too, changing, moving, expanidng, contracting, drafts, resolute winds and speaches stark knaked, glaring sunshine and weather no, no no, the time cannot be time, for it is all yet so little and withing... without, all around, the truth is revelaed!

I think I just swallowed one of those radioactive tadpoles

Fear not, for it shall reappear as the magical glowfrog of the Holy One.

All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well,
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the cancelled forever and ever
And all the sucking is done.

But, lest us not forget, all the sucking can but never be entirely complete For the sucketh continues as sure as kebab follows pub, and vodka follows beer, as sure as the rising of the dough follows the kneeding of the dough, or as the baking of the bread follows the rising of the bread, for as it is as it ever will be as it ever was, for all, that in which goes around, comes around again, has itself before both gone around and come around, again and again, a perpetual going roundness around and around and around, making the radioactive tadpoles really rather dizzy in their spinning perpetual suction of the great hoover-attachment nozel in the sky <zen
For as it was once to come to pass as it was written, so it was once writen that it would be written what was itself that to be which came to be that which came to pass and in passing itself did cause itself to pass in an eternal loop of looppyness . Lettuce remember the fog with the silver toes, the daffodils with their little handbags, and the singing man astride the lampost watching from afar the sardines running up the road to great the cheese for the pie of eternal flaky-pastry
As it is so it could have been, and which that for it could have been, may have been in our minds
all over... all around... its everywehre... watching... lurking.... sniffing.... juggling, and fidgiting slightly underneath the glow of a street light attached to the side of a sweet shop
so we must make ourselves dizzy and go around and around and around until we fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are balanced on lettuce bake lettuce soup pie BoBoboboBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoboB

Within this absolute truth lies a deeper absolute truth

That the wellness is always just a suck away
Because the tongues can never be completely in-folded
Because the cancel can never be completely cancelled
Because there is always just a little bit more sucking to be done

Forever and ever Sucketh..

A motto by which each of us and I know I do, should live our lives lettuce sucketh and suppeth oh holly hoover oh holy hooover hoooooooooveeerr of the night
lettuce jump up and down and spin about on the spot until we are dizzy

May your Holy Salad be plentiful, and your lettuce spry, and may the thyme shine brightly upon your sauce.

Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip the merry-go round wheel of life it turns Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip the time is moving on Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip the night draws ever nearer Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip and the time it moves on, and the wheel it turns, and the night draws nearer Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip and the salad it grows, flurishes and grows Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip the lettuce and tomato, like the ghost of times long past Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip and the night draws nearer Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip the time soon is right Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip Tap Tip lettuce spray salad may, night draws nearer, one glorious day lettuce spray

*Eyeborough raisin*

2 suc iz our goal.

Quit!

Thus speak the tainted dustbunnyglowfrog

forever so as it is so forever lettuce spry Q U I T Q U I T BoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoBoB

I found a nontable!

http://oilbasedfashion.com/blog/?p=505

Want! priase be the to the the to the hooverly one of th e night BoBOBOBOGBOBOB etc

n o n t a b l e

Preys bee!

If nighthoover comes back from the dead, here's a table you might want.
http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/37318/the-zombie-table-a-product-you-can-really-get-behind

n o n t a b l e n o n t a b l e n o n t a b l e z o m b i e t a b l e lettuce spry mhrily so one day... one day the hoovery one shall return as it was written

*opens *

We read from page 42


"2 tablespoons salt, 800 Grams flour, 2 1/4 teaspoons yeast
ahh... think I've gone got me the wrong book lettuce spry and bake bread

gets out bowl and teaspoon and measuresout 1/4 teaspoon yeast, 2 teaspoons yeast and 2 tablespoons salt...

rummages around in drawer and comes up with a gramspoon

measures out the flour...

"one, two, three, four, five, six"

heavy sigh

"seven, eight, nine..."

Lo and behold, I have brought the holy spatula to mix the mixture