h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No I'm too ashamed to admit it. You'll have to ask my wife.
She takes great pleasure in embarassing me whenever possible. but I love her for it

Oooh but it's only us we won't tell anyone!

'Onest, guv.

B

Nope, I may be drunk, but not drunk enough to fess upto that one.

Come on, Simon... We are your friends, we'll keep it secret...

I think we should now realise that to be human is to be embarrassing - 705 postings already. And, presumably, all from humans.

I once worked for a small electronics company that only had one toilet. It was usual to say to colleagues "I'm just off to the John" or similar such words, before taking a trip there. This avoided anyone within earshot from bothering to walk down the corridor to the loo until said person had returned.

On one such occasion a colleague had just said he was off to the lav. About 30 seconds later I had an accident with half a bottle of industrial cleaner, and went to the toilet to wash my hands.

As I stood at the basin I could hear my friend moving about in the cubical and, as we shared an earthy sense of humour, enquired "Are you enjoying your dump?"

To cut a very long story short, it wasn't him in the cubicle....

Fresh from today-
I work as customer service rep. for a phone company, and at training today I asked about a case I had of a customer calling for the rate to a certain Arab country which was very high. "What should I say to that?" I asked. "Don't we want people to call that country? My supervisor said so..." Everybody bursts out laughing and one of my colleagues goes: "And you believed him??" "N..." I mumble.

That was "No..."

I'm sure we'll get a rash of "embarrassment" in the next couple of weeks, what with parties and what not...

But my Well of embarrassment seems to have dried up for the moment (apart from the difficulty I am having spelling at the moment.... )

Erm... I was in our local small Tourist Information Centre recently, wandering around browsing.... I sort of without thinking let a sly windypop out, thinking it would be nice and quiet... but it wasn't... it was a rather loud trump!

Luckily there was only the till lady in there and she didn't say a word, I nonchalantly browsed for about another 30 seconds, just as if these I was blissfully unconcerned and these things happened all the time, and then fled and burst out giggling once out of the door..

Queegle

Farting is always funny.

What's even worse than that is when you make some pre-emptive joke about farting, ('pull my finger' etc. etc.) and then all that slips out is a noiseless 'pffft'. Very infuriating.

B

Here's my story to keep you going until the xmas stories arrive.

I was about 18 or 19 and for some reason I'd taken a day off work. At this time I was still living with my parents, but they were all out for the day so I had the house to myself.
I had a nice long lay in, then shuffled downstairs to make some breakfast. I found some glow in the dark stickers as a free gift in my cerial packet, and being inquisite I wanted to see if they worked.
But being a bright summers morning, with the sun streaming in even through the drawn curtains, I was a bit flummoxed.
So I decided to head for the darkest place in the house.... My brothers walk in cupboard. Even in there I could barely make out any glow, the sun was still streaming through a tiny crack in the door. So I pulled it shut and 'click'. The outside latch fell down. I was trapped!
8 Hours later my mum returned from work and finally let me out.
to this day I still can't look at a glow in the dark sticker the same way!

Brilliant!

The worst thing is that you still felt the need to 'test' glow-in-the-dark stickers at the age of 18!

B

I know, at 8 or 9 you can put it down to childhood ignorance, by 18 I should have known much much better.

Mind you I'm nearly 30 now, and still doing things just as silly as that Hence the H2G2 name!

Damn, now I can't remember what i wanted to say....

that can be embarrasing...

Yup. It was.

Not quite as worthy as posting when you've got nowt to say....

.....

One of my embarressing moments, and there are a fair few.

I was staying in Felixstowe at the time at the inlaws house and playing an old computer game called Lords of the Realm. The idea being that you take a county in Medeival England and had to organise farmers, troops and castles and what not to beat your opponants and become the single ruler. The opponants were something like an Earl, a Knight and a few others. I'd been playing this solidly for a few days and the only one left to kill off was the Bishop.

Not embarrassing yet, but I got dragged outside to go buy some lunch, and was in that sort of sulk you only get from men dragged away from their computers and not allowed to go to the pub, and teenage boys. So, there we were, the better half and myself in Marks & Spencers foodhall choosing what to get for dinner. I picked up the first thing that came to hand, regardless of what it was but the missus was deliberating in the way that only women can. Being a little impatient to return to the game and finish it, I moaned with rather a lot of volume "Oh, come on! I want to get home to beat the bishop."

For those that may not know, "Beating the Bishop" is a term for self indulgence of the sexual kind.