h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

but it could be a tissue of lies ? and papered over to hide the fax

if we catch the witch should we wax her?

I was Walker-ing through Newcastle when I met a Byker who worked in a Byke-shop in Byker as Benton shared some of his Spittal shop bought Ham Tongues sandwiches before going off to Cowgate to have a round of golf at the Newcastle United Golf Club and finishing with a pint of Newcastle Brown ale at the club.

You're going to put catchup on the witch, Pierce?

That's 3 times you've been told! Heinz! fry dry

you say tomato i say tormentor

Saladin does mean lettuce and tomatoes etc are in the supermarket

If you torture your salad, is that known as the Spinach Inquisition?

if i shredded my cole and tossed my salad would i be sentenced for cruelty against vegetables?

in the past tense will the victim be named coleslew?

An Anglo-Italian painter: Tom-Arto?

did they serve iceberg lettuce on the Titanic or was it just a load of radish

The captain staid on the ship. The musicians didn't - they were banned.

When I was in Italy, I heard music coming from a garden. it turned out to be Tomato Albinoni.

It could have been someone playing the tuber. Herb Albert and his Tijuana Brassica Band, perhaps?

Herb played in thyme but Rosemary was sages getting the rhythm

There was a wolf named Tim and he decided to shave off all his fur in the middle of winter and now the wolves call him Tim-Burr-Wolf.

To plan beforehand for a cold winter is pre-furable.

The angry ice cube boiled with anger, then let off some steam.

During the American Civil War, a huge glacier appeared in the South, cutting off Lee's men, which led to a victory for the North. Julia Ward Howe referred to this in the first line of her "Battle hymn of the Republic:

"Mine ice have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."

I get the DRIFT