h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did the meloncollie chase the gooseberries?

straw berries must have a weird taste

i hear they fed prozac to a pitbull and turned it into a mellow collie

I used to have an aunt who also made people feel good because of her cheery disposition. We called her Auntydepressant.

was she mother of pearl s. buck by any chance?

She was more like Pass the Buck.

the cello's wanted to go out, so they hired a baby sitar to watch the young'un

think i'll pour me an the stein way

I'll have a tuba lager, cobber

This is some pretty good tapioca. That's one way of pudding it.

The snowstorm arrived at a fortuitous as it was white on time. The moment my neighbour threw snow into my driveway and said to me "Did you get my drift", and I said: "It's snow problem".

My uncle called my grandfather a deer when he let my ant(aunt)-elope.

was Frankenstein's a self made man in the spare parts business

Spare parts business, yes, but they were car parts. Haven't you ever heard of Frankenstein's Mazda?

no but i met his sister. boy did she have a lot of spare tyres

A ham walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".

There was a pig who couldn't tie his shoe laces because he was ham fisted.

Some pigs were sold at auction while they were in a porking lot.

ham vegetarian just doesn't sound right

i knew a ham actor once who was a vegetarian: to pea or not to pea