h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There was Greece on my plate when the meal was over. I asked the waiter for the Chechnya.

I had Georgia on my mind, by eck! she was a big woman

i had a full english breakfast and when the german waiter asked me ' are you finished' i answered ' nah, i'm danish'

so you Polish'ed it off then, you must have been Hungary, I hope you wasn't Russian your food down

france, italy i was hungary as a horse and gained estonian

( = friends, i tell ye i was hungry as a horse and gained a stone again)

far fetched, but at least it was fast and

"Excuse me," said the pony as he cleared his throat. "I'm a little horse. (hoarse)"

Chad' and I got 'Hungary' so we ate 'Turkey'. I had some 'Chile' too, eat it fast, although I hate to 'Russia'.
Chad said 'Urugay' just because you like to 'Sweden' your coffee, so I had to 'Czech' his head.

When you're Hungary, you're nothing Budapest. When I am out, I stop off at one of the cafe's and there's Norway I want to do more than have a bowful of soup . I'm Finnish now so I'll Thai this up by saying I'm Syria-s that it Israeli the truth that curried Samoa-sasa when eaten hot are the best thing to have on a cold.

I had a Scottish meal and finished with a tartan cream

i had a highland soup with no ice

and that's Scot nothing to do with haggises

Haggis? Isn't that the month after July?

i thought it was plural for scottish hags

would those be haggisses then

I would like to scotch the rumours that to butter me up that all you have to do is to give me my favourite sweet which is butterscotch and a pint of butterbeer or a glass of scotch when I am stopping off at Scotch Corner for a few scotch eggs.

I saw a Scottish Indian, Hawkeye the noo

if earwigs actually lived in your ears, would it put you off cockroaches

Earwicks live in the candles that people stick in their ears.

Punch and Judy were candles - wax the way to do it

Then there was the wicked witch who hid in a candle.

I had a paper plane, but the candle in the wind was just bloody useless

If it's only a paper moon, maybe it can be reached with a paper plane.