h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*hands it to Esty*
Alright then, I trust you would not keep his pay for yourself...
not that it matters really because the cheque will probably bounce...

Esty: *takes paper*

*salutes* Delivered and signed!

*Kat enters and sets up some targets at 200yards*

Right this can't be that hard...I've seen them do it on TV

*turns to face other way and spins round with a handful of knives, throwing them. Every knife misses completely*

Okaaayyy so maybe it isn't that easy.

*practices long into the night before leaving, placing a small device on the door on her way out*

Coren: *fetches 100-foot-long pole and pokes device from 100 feet plus an armlength away* *runs and hides behind the bomb-proof wall*

*device explodes within a radius of 100 feet, leaving a black hole in the ground and several very small fires suitable for cooking marshmallows on*

Lenny: *fetches a sharp stick and a bag of marshmallows* *finds a box of graham crakcers and some * *starts making s'mores*

Lenny: It's "crackers," not "crakcers"

Here's some targets... *throws spork* Hit! Now for a huge, siege-weapon crossbow on well-oiled, no-squeak wheels, loaded with a huge bundle of several dozen bolts. *fires bow* Where have the targets gone? Where's the earth bank gone? Where did those feathers come from, drifting down... on... my... head..... Oh, hell.

a seige weapon it seems to me...

It is indeed, maybe I shoudn't use it again.

seems perfect if your surounded on a dark night

If I'm faced with many people, I shoot them and anyone standing next to them.

That is not a problem, I assure you.

Well I am glad to here that,
after all we offer a profesional service, at a profesionally extorshionate cost

*A flash streaks into the training ground, whooshes up a nearby tree and slows to reveal Kat, who sits glaring and wiping vodka lemon off her cheeks*

Hello!! I've been sent here by Khamsin....what do i do now??

* a strict looking drill officer appears from the shadows behind Black Leopard, holding a dagger to BL's throat*

Officer: you should pay more attention

(Ha ha ha Khamsin, very funny)

*using Matrix style moves and tricks BL removes the dagger blade from his throat, floors the drill officer AND manages to make it look twice as good as it could have looked*

*the drill officer spring to his feet, a littl flustered*

Officer: okay you passed the second test *gets out a note book and writes some notes*

Officer: right.... errrr... second test... see that house? *points at a house made of stone*

Officer: there is a dummy in there, go and inhume it

*Bounds off into the house - first disarming the booby traps that Khamsin had put there*

(how cruel are u?)

*there is a flash and a bang from inside the house*

*BL comes back with singed fur*