h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*enters*

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm back, my hair is gooood!


*flops onto chair and brushes hair*

so... your saying that thamsin is going... to save the ship...
and... where are the escape pods?

I'm doing well. Sofar half of the bloody thing is turned to char

*curry thing doubles in size*

*gets up*

*all electrics go down as Cat uses hairdryer*

ok... this obviously isent working...
hey wouuld you mind if i came out to have a look... i always wanted to see a curry monster </>

Sure. If you brought some anaethetic it would probally make things one hell of a lot easier.

*looks at the doc* *over hairdryer* Are you nuts, Doctor B?

*plugs in hot-wax-strip-unsightly-hair-remover....*

well...
no... not nuts...
but its myu sworen duty to help protect the lives of my ship mates

*points to come*

You need to protect him?!

< Like I said, does anyone know what kind of curry it is? >

*three bits of slide off the-un-burnt-by-a-murderous-Thamian bit and go off in different directions...*

*curled up in a corner in the foetal position, head in his hands*

I took a three weeks course in curry identification in 1993. It looks to me to be more like tikka masala than curry. But its hard to tell just from looking at my hands.

*would have noticed Rimmer's expedition in the cargo Bay if beauty aids weren't taking up the bridge's monitors/electrics (bar holly)... including the cctv.*

*wanders out of the brig to the cargo bay*

*finishes perming leg hairs and sets off down vents*

*walks after Anthea onto the bridge, quickly finds the sensor panel and inspects it*
hmmm... the curry monster now occupies all the hull from sector A-12 through B-173
*checks the outer cameras*
That bloke Thamian seems to have a bit of an itchy trigger finger, I better get out there pronto and have a chat with him.
*looks at himself*
I can't move in that maggots uniform, Holly, my flightsuit please.
*Ace appears in his flightsuit complete with Commander-stripes and sunglasses*
*runs off in the direction of the airlock but then swings back at Anthea*
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!
*runs off*