h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Just as B4 reaches the top of the aisle by the entry doorways a very LARGE induhvidual, with hands the size of a third world country, steps through them and snatches him off the ground.]

[B4] Ooommph!

[LARGE] Pawdon me again, Sir, but our Stage Mawnager has instructed me to detail the finer points of Theawter etiquette. Come with me, please.

[B4] Huunnngh?! [Almost faints in the unrelenting grip of the LARGE induhvidual as he is carried into the Lobby.]

B4its2late

*all the dwarves (save Dopey) notice the commotion and leap to their feet to save Ducky*

*they form another column and lie down to stretch into the lake. unfortunately their seventh member (Dopey) is missing and they can't quite reach ducky*

Doooopey!! You great wally! Behind you!

*looks through her bag*

A rope! I've got a rope!

*discovers its an Indian rope trick rope, when snapped firmly it goes rigid*

*throughs the rope across the lake to the point where Duckie was last seen*

::A somewhat more docile B4 discreetly slips back through the auditorium doors. He queitly makes his way to his seat, being careful not to disturb any of the other patrons (or matrons), sits down gently in his comfortable chair and puts his TIH&G back on. He pushes the RRL button, notes he's missed some of the action, touches the REW button and catches back up on the thread.::

Mmmmm. Mmm-hmmmm...

B4

*Thistle is able to follow the "quacks" to Duckie, though she's confused for a moment as sounds properties are so different under water (and she just knows it's going to take forever to get the water out of her ears, darn it!) But nature works against her. While the dog-paddle is the perfect means of keeping one's head above water, it is close to worthless for diving. She struggles to reach the bottom.
Suddenly this changes. A full dress, when soaked through, is as useful as a diver's lead weights - Thistle looses boyancy swiftly, soon she is sinking like a rock.
Oh, well, for the moment this is helpful.
She finds the weed entagling Duckie and begins to chew through it.
But there is a problem. Thistle has had her head below water for a long time now. She really should surface soon.

*dragged from his seat, goes tumbling down the aisle*

Do you all mind? You are going to get us thrown out of here!

*adjusts her helmet and returns to her seat, or what she thinks is a seat*

*looks around*

Where's Duckie?
Where's Thistle Howl?
And why are Mary and Mysterious Stranger dripping wet?

SPLASH SPLASH
*finally untangles weeds that were clogged in its tail*

*notices commotion behind it*

*finds piece of egg floating nearby in water*

*needs much time to process more than one idea at once*

*the untangling of the string of weed comes as a surprise to (hoping to get his own smiley one day)*

*he surfaces quite abruptly, but finds that something is still weighing quite heavily on the string*

*takes a deep breath*

*dives*

*feels the line go slack between her teeth. Is vaguely aware that Duckie isn't there anymore. A somewhat misty thought comes to her - perhaps I shouldn't be here either. In a moment of near clarity realizes - Gee, I feel so heavy, that might be a problem. Reaching out she grabs something that feels like a rope, but that is very stiff. This confuses her, but she pulls herself along the "rope?". Growing dizzy now, Thistle sees a light. She pulls herself towards it.*

*the silouette of a duck seems to pass before the light. That's nice, thinks Thistle, I like ducks. The light seems to grow dimmer.*

*kneeling on a stepping stone*

Help! Someone! Thistle Howl is drowning!

[Front]: Can you swim?
[Back]: Gorgonzola! The problem isn't swimming, it's breathing.
[Front]: We'll swim backstroke then.

*Buttercup jumps in the lake and swims backstroke towards Thistle Howl*

Good heavens! We're only dwarves. We can't save everyone!

*Steps carefully on to the stepping stone nearest the shore, and stands flailing his hands.*

*glares at the muttering something about 'lambchops'*

*relieved that Buttercup has jumped into the water to save Thistle Howl - for a moment he was worried that he would have to jump in himself - and he /really/ wants to be one of the bad guys - saving somebody's life would seriously damage his rep*

Mademoiselle Mary, are you not a bit too old to have a lamb - pardonnez moi, a - running after you? I take it you are not a child any more, non?

Oh dear, poor Duckie and now Thistle is in trouble too.

Why doesn't one of them grab Robyn's rope?

Oh dear, oh dear.

*someone, or maybe several someones; or maybe it's her imagination; pulls on Thistle's hair ribbon. It's just a little tug, but it helps. Also, it hurts, and this helps Thistle focus again on what she's doing. She struggles just a bit more....
Her head clears the surface!*

(gasp, gasp) Hey! (gasp, gasp) Could someone...(gasp, gasp)...pull me in? (gasp, gasp) I'm very tired... (gasp, gasp). Do any of you...(gasp, gasp) ...have the other end...(gasp, gasp)...of this?

*she waves her end of the stiffened rope in the air.
Thistle keeps kicking with what's left of her strength, and she manages to keep her face above water - mostly*

And where's...Duckie? (gasp, gasp) Did he manage to (gasp, gasp) rescue himself? (gasp, sputter!)

**Throwing the last of his dignity aside, Purr wades into the water. It crests his boots and runs down inside; it reaches his waist and he begins to shudder at its chill; it comes up to his shoulders and he begins to wonder if he will reach Thistle Howl.**

Dearr young lady, give meow yeour hand...quickly!

**He tip-toes and bobs in the Lake's cool waters and his paws barely make contact with Thistle Howl's own. He stretches just...a little bit...further...and is able to hold her wrist. He digs in his heels and draws her toward him; she floats past him in response to the tug. Purr spins slowly in the rippling waters of the Lake, then catches hold of Thistle Howl's arm. They both wade back onto shore--haggard, dripping, gasping, but relieved.**

Yeou arre a verry brrave young lass to have rrissked yeour life in ssuch a mannerr. Ai am cerrtain that Duckie will have ssome exceedingly high prraise for yeou, m'dearr... Catch yeour brreath now, as we have morre of thiss act yet to ffollow.

[The large black cat sitting in the front row, wearing a tan trenchcoat and carrying a leather satchel, begins to jeer at B4.]

That guy's obviously not a professional actor: his disguise is slipping again. Makeup! Can somebody get him some Makeup!?!