h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Witty steps away from the small pool of dim light at the base of the ladder and finds that it is indeed, very dark. Digging around once again in her tote bag, she finds her flashlight, turns it on, swivels it around and sees ( she thinks)Titania, d'E, Sol, Zero, a jello with a clerical collar, Carmel and a pair of pugs.*

Okay, shall we proceed?

I thought it may have been you lot making the noise!

I'm so relieved you are all safe

Shall we go back up the ladder or see wha't further along the tunnel? I would have thought it comes ot somewhere in the ruined village.

I'm personally for getting back into the daylight and as far from here as possible. I'm in dire need of a bath.

*Looks around in wonder at the assembled group.*

My, what an illustrious crowd! *raises voice* Now, if I may have your attention for a moment, please.

Thank you. You may not all be aware, but my evil twin brother, Woody, has been masquerading as me and has kept me imprisoned here. He has plans to take over h2g2 and eventually, the world. He has assembled a formidable force and may just be powerful enough to see those plans through. As honourable citizens of h2g2, it is our duty to try to stop him.

You have already been singularly successful in getting this far, relatively unscathed. With a little planning, we should be able to at least slow him down.

Now, I would suggest that our best hope would be to attack from within. There are many guards outside, so it would be difficult to attack that way. Here, we could make our way back to my cell, and force the door. Then we could make our way upstairs and take the church. That would give us a stronghold from which to take the rest of the village.

Are you all with me?

*Butch gets to the bottom of the spiral stairs and looks around for the emerald. Across the hall, he sees the door to Herb's cell open.*

What the heck...?

*Butch goes into the cell and sees the emerald under the bed. He pushes the bed out of the way and sees the hole in the wall.*

Now, what in tarnation...?

*Butch absent-mindedly picks up the test-mint and crawls through the hole into the cave system. Far ahead, he sees several lights and a fairly large group of people. He creeps forward, keeping to the shadows. About half-way to the group, recognition dawns.*


It's that gol-durned posse! What the heck is it with those folks? They've been dogging my trail for weeks. Can nothing stop them? I tell yuh one thing - I ain't gonna fight with them again.


*Butch turns around and makes his way back to Herb's cell, then back up the stairs to the church. He leaves the Celery Clone Guards guarding the hole into the caves.*

*Mutter*Relatively unscathed, has he seen the state of my suit? And as for having to wear this daft bowler to keep the sun off*Mutter*

WooooOOoooOOooo! [Hey, Reb! Check out this guy's bowler]

Woooo hoooo hooooo! [Ha ha ha!]

Woooooo woo woooo wooo [Nice suit, too]

Wooo wooooooooooo [I didn't know they MADE waistcoats like THAT!]

Wooooooo hooo hoooo [Har har har]

Woo wooooo wooo WOOO [Hey Reb, you bin dead the longest...]

Woo woo woooooo woo [...how yeh do the poltergeist thing?]

Wooooo woooooo woooo [I kin barely move this little pebble]

*A pebble rolls across the floor.*

*Two figures descend the ladder.*

Well, I don't know... I thought our mission was to free Lil... but that Woody type sounds like a dangerous guy, unless someone stops him... *looks around, swallows hard* ...and I guess 'someone' is the posse?

*notices that the light from above is suddenly obscured, looks up*

Here's where I think everyone is, based on what people have said. Almost everyone is together, somewhere in the middle of the route between the hole from the outside and the hole to the jail cell. Amy and BeeBee are near the hole to the jail cell. The Lone Jello and Tontello have just entered and are near the hole to the outside. My original image was of a maze of tunnels between the two holes. Thus, the group in the middle can not see either hole. Lone Jello and Tontello may be able to see some light from the group, though.


Well, I agree with Herb. (surprise, surprise ). I think we should do our best to save h2g2 and the world. After all, that's part of the job description for Affy and me.

Yes, I agree. I've been hearing rumors of unrest at the Alabaster House, even an assassination attempt on the President.

It would be a prime opportunity for a coup.

[Zero] Part of mine, too, come to think of it ... though I seem to have a different job ...

Any chance of a quick cup of too? The dogs look in need of some water and perhaps a doggybix as well.

As for the Celery, I think I have some mayo and salt in one of my pockets.

*Affy nodded his head when Herb asked for assistance, but heard several ghostly voices*

Oh, those darn spooks....I warned 'em that I had an Ahkmut Container! Why won't they leave me alone?

*Turns away from this and back to the rest of the Posse*

Yeah, Garius is right. Attempts to save the world are strictly covered by the second set of rules in "The Adventurer's Code."

*Affy takes off his hat for a moment, and covers his heart with it before placing it back on his head*

Right after the parts about "Picking up anything that isn't nailed down", of course....

*reflectively*
I wish I could rescue Floradora. She was a victim of a very great injustice...

Lil? LIL! It's Lil! Shouldn't we all be doing the snoopy dance?

[Zero] Let's wait until we're sure the world will still be there when we're done.

Carmel (not terribly bothered by being held upside down by her foot, soft toys are used to being dragged about by their feet) Pardon me, Mr.Munchkin Sir, but wasn't that nasty Man Called Jello with you? Don't we need him to trade for BeeBee? And he's still got Blue Bear with him?

*Meanwhile, the pugs are growing restive and conflicted. They don't want to deafen the very nice Ms. Solnuska with barking, but there are Things-That-Are-Not-There all around them.*