h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Enters at the far end. Switches on his lantern.*

The temperature seems to have dropped a little.

*turns up beam on maglite

Come on everyone there's a tunnel at the end of my light

Sorry, I know it's bad form to at you own jokes, but I couldn't resist it.

There is also a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope Witty is alright.

*Finds a cavern with the most amazing paintings on the walls. They depict the indian village in its heyday, swarming with indians. The plain is green and lush with crops and irrigation canals can be seen running from the river. At the very top of the cliff is a huge statue, presumably of one of the indian's gods. As GL peers at it in the dim light from his lantern, he is struck by a sudden stab of recognition.*

My goodness! But he does get around!

*Shakes his head and wanders away, humming "Love me tender".*

*Appears from above.*

Ah, Miss Caer. There you are. Hopefully, the others are behind me.

Good, the coast looks clear at the moment, although I did see a light up ahead.

I'm hoping that it is one of the posse.

I don't know about you, Herb, but I'm really looking forward to getting out into the fresh air and having a cup of .

A cup of tea! I haven't had one for months! Didn't anybody bring a thermos?

*inspects wall art* GL, I don't think those are sequins, that's just mica crystals behind the drawing.

Hello chaps. I see you like my paintings. They're for sale you know. *smiles in a contented way*

How do you sell cave paintings, or is the cave for sale?

As soon as we get topside I can get a brew going, I'm sure the rest of the posse are more than ready for a snack.

I hope the webjellos gave you decent meals, Lil.

*Hurries along behind, nervously keeping an ear out for noises from Herb's cell*

*BeeBee's momentum carries her past a green door and into the cave system* she tries hard to get some purchase with her paws* Amy the Ant clings on to BeeBee's collar shouting words of encouragement*

Faster, BeeBee. They're gaining on us.

*Amy looks in the direction they're travelling in*

There's a light up ahead. Is that a good thing?

*suddenly, the light casts a huge shadow of a Celery on the cave wall*

Oops. How did The Celery get so far ahead of us? There must be secret passages all over the place. We're trapped! Where are the brakes on a pug? Stop, BeeBee! Stop!

*pulls on BeeBee's collar*

What was that? Did anyone else hear a faint bumping and odd noises behind us?

*turns and shines torch back up the tunnel, but only succeeds in dazzingly everyone*

*BeeBee comes to a halt and whimpers uncertainly*

Try not to pant so loud. If we stay quiet, they may not see us until the last moment.

*torchlight approaches from in front and behind* Amy hugs BeeBee *

Whatever it is, it's rather small. *opens and shuts eyes, trying to dispel after-effects of torch*

Tell you what, the rest of you keep going and I'll go back for a look.
*Wanders back a bit* Helloooo?

*the cave system is filled with frightening echoes* BeeBee and Amy huddle against the wall*

[Zero] [arriving with some others] Well I don't know what it'll do against ghosts ...

Oh. I thought perhaps there was a settings dial or something.

*BeeBee doesn't have the best nose in the world, but the scents she's getting are familiar and they all have associations with food! She begins to bark.*

Shhhh! BeeBee! Quiet girl! It's The Celery. You don't want to be caught again, do you?

*Amy tries to keep BeeBee still against the side of the tunnel*

*at the far end, having descended the ladders rather more rapidly than intended*

*digging, in vain, in her pockets for her maglite*


Damn!