h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~click~

*an empty chamber revolves into the firing chamber and he realises his pistolis exhausted, his shotgun has been lost and he lent his knife to bally Lightfoot to cut some bacon earlier that day*

Oh that is deuced bad luck what. I don't suppose you'd consider a second innings would you eh ?

*puts up his hands slowly*

*Dances with Jello bears down on the Pugs and at full gallop leans out of the saddle and plucks one of the sturdy little dogs by their collar off the ground*

*with a whoop Dances with Jello turns his horse on a sixpence and heads towards Jello Wolf and away from the Posse*

*sea's horse skids to a stop directly behind AMCJ and she draws*

freeze, jello, or i'll splatter you across the badlands.

*Seeing an injured jello bearing down on her with tomahawk in hand, bounces out of the dirt, turns the Big Gun around and swipes at the creature with the butt of the gun*

Woohooo, I think I hit Lightfoot, or was his demise coincidence?

I'll just keep loosing bolts off. Getting low on Death by Chocolate, may have to try Sticky Toffee Finish!

The Celtic Ring like food spells

[X does stuff that fits in with what's going on!]

/* Throws another rock at Dances with Jellos, while Zeppo barks for more sticks to fetch. They both watch Carmel soar off into the stratosphere. */

Carmel! Carmel! Take a good look around - you've got a great view for spotting more enemies!

and have you seen A747001?

I call Carmel!

*Witty takes off for the spot she anticipates Carmel will land, her hands out to catch the .*

*Unfortunately, she slips in a puddle of jello and ends up taking a header.*

Owwwww.....

*Fires one shot at the indian riding away with the pug before realizing that he could accidentally hit the pug. *

*Looks over the scene with disgust. Three jellos killed (Lightfoot, Two Dogs and Standing), two captured (Running and Man Called Jello) and one returning with a captured pug (!). As Dances With Jellos rides up, Jello Wolf begins to speak, then stops, not trusting himself to maintain his wise chief demeanour. He simply turns his horse and leads Dances with Jellos down the far side of the ridge. The two indians disappear.*

*Speaks in an odd falsetto voice, which renders his comments somewhat less than terrifying*

The Apachellos will get you for this!

*Holsters his guns, brushes himself off and walks back to the others.*

Anyone hurt? I think they might have underestimated us a little.

*Looks around for Carmel, to express his condolences on the loss of the pug, but only sees Witty with outstretched arms. Looks up.*

Oh dear.

*Looks from the small carmel-coloured dot in the sky to Witty and back again.*

A little to your left, I think Witty.

*Turns to look at the prisoners.*

Now, lets see what we've got here. One hog-tied, hurting injello and one injello in a bowler. Quite a catch. But perhaps we could have a prisoner exchange and get the pug back.

*Looks at sea*

I beg you notice my upraised hands, young miss, in the internationally recognized posture of surrender. It would be decidedly unsporting of you to discharge that firearm under such circumstances, eh what?

I think I'll make . Don't know about you guys, but I'm thirsty and not a little peckish after that fracas.

*cleans off crossbow sets about lighting a fire and getting the kettle on to boil*

*wrinkles nose disdainfully at A Man (man? hah!) Called Jello (yellow, rather)*

*reluctantly lowers bow and arrow*

*BeeBee does not struggle with Dances With Jello's as he smells like cheese. However, she uses her prize winning tongue ("Best Kisses - First Annual Rochester Dog's Day Out") and slimes him savagely.*

*The pugs are terribly confused. Something smelling of cheese wizzed by and suddenly the wagon was much heavier. Blue Bear has to explain what happened slowly and patiently ina gentle tone.*

Carmel catches a wicked thermal and bobs out of the grasp if Witty. She lands with a thump, and the sound of a crumpling hat, on A Man Called Jello's head*

It is a little known fact that soft toys enjoy being tossed, though they have a mark preferance for being caught. Carmel is unharmed, though her spatula lands between her ears and that does sting a bit*

Carmel - Ouch!

*It takes her a moment to realize where she is. This is the man who claims to have Bambi's stuffed mother, and boy does she have frustrations to take out on someone! There is a wicked gleam in her totally expresionless button eyes. She begins smacking A Man Called Jello with the spatula with all her itty-bitty might!

Carmel - Take that, and that, and some of this as well, you...you...you...oh, I just don't like you at all!

Ow! Oh! I say, stop that this instant. Ow! Leave off, will you. Ouch! This just isn't cricket, you hear? Oof! I've surrendered, for Jello's sake. Ouch! One of you lollygaggers there call off your shirty little savage here, eh what. Ow!

Carmel Shirty!

*smack!*

Savage!

*smack!*

Oooooooo! You have made me very, very cross! Really you have! Very, very, very cross, indeed!

*smack, smack, Smack, SMACK!*

Carmel doubles her little efforts.