h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had no idea that soft toys were so good at battering people! I'm glad that Precious is well looked after home, curled up on my bed with Sadie the snuggled up to her.

*fries steak, tomatoes and mushrooms*

Food is ready!

have at him, carmel and blue bear. i cry every time bambi's mother dies.

*Prods experimentally at Two Dogs with her foot, as he seems to have collapsed at her feet*

Are you dead?

Jello Wolf seems to think you are. If not, groan piteously and I'll apply gelatine patches to the wounds

Note to self: never follow the Salonistas on an adventure again. There's just too much backlog!


[X smells the cooking]

[X] Mmmmm .... Some for me, please!

yes, but on the bright side, we stop for every few pages and give everyone time to catch up.

*sniff, sniff*

*s-t-r-e-t-c-h*

Is that food I'm smelling?

I say - I'll take my steak medium with a nice glass of merlot if you have it. Are those field mushroom perchance ?

Splendid! Always appreciate it when Chaps travel in style you know.

Blue Bear is terribly upset that AMCJ has already managed to forget he is there. Blue Bear tried harder, but his fierce bear hug remains almost imperceptible.*

You took my doggie!

Ah, nothing like a good fight to build an appetite.

*Eats hungrily, trying hard not to wolf his food.*

*Slowly turns around to face the voice, but doesn't put the dog down.*

*Also turns around slowly*

How. We keep'um this dog until we get Running Jello and A Man Called Jello back. You give us braves, we give you dog.

*A glint of light flashes momentarily from the blade near the dog's throat.*

Looks like we got'um Mexican stand-off.

Anyone for seconds?

I suppose we ought to comply with teh Geneva Convention.

Blue Bear, how about leaving the jello alone long enough for him to have something to eat?

*cuts up some steak for the pugs, whilst training the crossbow on the captives, passes them a plate each in turn*

Just behave you two, otherwise I won't take it too kindly if you don't eat the food all up.

Carmel , what do you and Blue Bear want to eat?

Splendid old gel, splendid .... although Running Jello does still appear to be out for the count rather.

*removes napkin, cutlery and condiments from his pack and sets his table*

And the Merlot perchance ?

My congratulations to the Chef Ma'am this fare is simply wonderful.

*goes to sprinkle a little salt on the steak but knocks the salt shaker onto the ground. Bending down to retrieve it (and unnoticed by all) he quietly slits the bindings holding Running Jello in place with his knife before sitting upright once again*

Do you possess any horseradish I fear my palate requires a little something to make it a truely memorable meal ?

.... and the Merlot ?

*Feeling his bonds cut, Running Jello moves his wrists and ankles until the feeling returns and they are back to normal. Then he tenses, springs to his feet and runs. True to his name, he is fleet of foot and is soon beyond the reach of the posse, but not yet out of range of their weapons.*

*Jumps to his feet, draws both of his six-guns and shoots at the fugitive.*

Horseradish? Merlot?!!!

You should be grateful that we feed you at all, you - you - you SCUM!

*glares at AMCJ*

Can I punch him on the nose? Please?

Splendid ! Might I be so bold as to ask for seconds ? Old Running only appears to have taken a bite or two out of his steak - perhaps I might have his portion ?

How's the merlot coming along ?

[X is dashing after Running Jello. Sure, the dude has legs, but X has dash-boot thrusters, launching him at superhuman speeds. This is the reason the Reploids have their /own/ Olympics: They break all human records.]