h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a crashing in the trees near the road and the renegades drop to the ground*

Disgruntled Ape: Ook! [We're on your side!]
Second Ape: Ook! [Apes in the desert! It ain't natural!]
Third Ape: *spits to the side* Ook. [I ain't goin anywhere there ain't no trees.]

Disgruntled Ape: *looking hopeful* Ook? [Got any bananas?]

*pats amos on the knee*

glad you're feeling better.

*sea climbs down from the coach and reaches into her pocket for some bananas*

*passes Amos a mug of *

* puts sausages in the frying pan and whilst the sizzle and pop, enjoys a second *

This capering around in the open air doesn't half give you an appetite.

*drinks *

We ought to discuss a Plan. Are the sausages ready yet?

*turns sausages over*

Yes they are, Amy.

There is some of Witty's cornbread left if you want your sausage in that.

A quick piece and sausage and then we really want to be off, if we are to catch these Ape chaps. I recommend Amy leads the way.

*sips coffee gratefully* Ahhhhhh...

What am I to do with the coach if we go off road? I can unhitch Bonnie and Clyde and ride one of em -- are the rest of ye passengers prepared to mount up? We've plenty of horses. *points with chin toward the remuda spread out behind them on either side of the road, grazing*

I think it would be a good idea to keep off the road as we go through the badlands. We should probably go to the east, since there is a mess of a butte to the west and a beaut of a mesa to the east. But eventually we have to go through the pass - it may be the only way to get to the RRR.

*from where she is lazily lolling on the ground sipping tea, under parasol*

Prepared for anything, even horse riding...

Its at times like these that I wish I'd brought a giant balloon with me. However, I'll make do with a horse, due to my lack of planning.

*Looks startled and lunges across for her carpet bag...*

Maybe...

...No, sorry, no balloons. Horses it is.

*wipes out frying pan with a wad of paper tissue*

I have never been on a horse in my entire life, but if needs must.....

Drat, if I must ride a horse, I must. Somebody pick out the gentlest beast for me, please. I don't have any idea how to steer the darn thing.

If I keep the clydesdales harnessed together, I could put two ladies on Bonnie. I believe Miss Caerwynn and Miss Moniker might prefer to continue that way.

And we can fit the basket between the horses and carry the dogs and rabbit.

You sir, *looking to Lord Munchkin and touching his cap* might like to ride the brown and white mare near the elf queen's big gray. The paint mare's name is Anqa, and she goes very kindly.

*goes to the great horses and begins working on their harness*

Sounds like a good idea, Amos. From what I've seen of Bonnie and Clyde they are a remarkably sensible horses of great intelligence and intuition.

Which is just as well as I've no idea how to steer one!

*Looks somewhat relieved.*

I'm willing. Bonnie does seem rather gentle.

Caer, do you want the front seat or the back seat?

Shall we toss for it?

*takes a coin of the realm from her pocket*

Heads or tails?

Heads or tails... get it?

I'll take tails.

*throws coin into the air, a gun shot rings out and neatly passes through the coin*

Who did that? No respect these outlaws, tails it is Witty.

*sea leaves the bananas for the disgruntled ape group and goes in search of sausage and cornbread*