h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Rides along getting a numb bum and enjoying the view*

*still clinging tightly to Bonnie*

Witty can you see where we are going? I've got my eyes shut, in case I notice I'm riding a horse .

*signals the Posse to come to a halt*

This is where we were going to meet Carmel. I suggest we stop, have and put our thinking caps on because once we get into the Badlands we'll be up against some apes and some injuns from the jello tribe.

All ideas welcome, however daft.

*rummages in the infinite capacity storage of the DFB and finds some organic bananas for Disgruntled Ape and his pals*

*releases her grasp on Bonnie's harness thingy and slides down*

Once the cramp has gone from my fingers, I'll get a brew on.

Well I would put my thinking cap on, only some blighter SHOT MY HAT!!! Sorry, but it rankles, it was a good hat that and now I'm going to have to resort to other methods to keep my head covered.
*Pulls out large gingham handkerchief, knots it at the corners and sticks it on his head*

*jumps down from Clyde and offers the horses feed and water*

Maybe when we get back to Peta Gulch we can find you a good stetson at the general store. Twould suit you, I'm sure!

*grins at Munchkin and Amos*

To change the subject from hats, what shall we do with the apes and the injuns?

I was wondering if we could set up a diversion using smoke signals.

*riding in, followed by 4 gnus carrying the HH brand*

Them jellos is rustling gnus from the Hitchhiker Ranch! *tips his hat to the ladies* Sorry to be so long. I wasn't no good at babysittin other people's characters and decided to go do something I am good at. Trackin cattle.

So you all come off the main trail?

*Grins at Billy and tries to look casual. Considers getting off of Bonnie's back, but decides it would be more trouble than it's worth. Besides, her thighs feel like noodles.*

You know, the view from up here is lovely. Someone pass me up a , if you don't mind.

*Gets off his horse and takes a *

Thanks, Caer.

Good to see you, Billy. I think we're in for a bit of action soon. If those indians are Apachellos, then they're probably pretty mad at us for killing Indian Joe Two Jellos - he was an Apachello.

*Turns to Amy.*

I like that smoke signal idea, Amy. With all the buttes and mesas and gullies and things, if we can get the indians going the wrong way, it'll be days before they can find us again. By then we should be up to the pass. If one of us goes and makes some smoke back at the road, then maybe the indians will be fooled into thinking that we are travelling by the road.

We'll definately need outriders to give us advance warning. I think you, Amy, and Pierrot are the best suited for that - one of you can patrol ahead and to the east, while the other patrols ahead and to the west. The rest of us should stick together as much as possible, so that if we do get attacked, we can present a strong defense.

Sounds good to me.

*checks crossbow over and decides against fire bolts in light of recent events*

I wonder what these ice bolts are like?

Anyone for hot buttered teacakes?

*starts toasting some she found in the bottom of the provisions basket*

*a rather squeaky voice with a soft lisp can be heard over the prairie wind*

...well, yes, Blue Bear, there was a guard dog in the Dealer Room in the first outline of the game, but we dropped that because even Mac had to agree it was silly...

*the high grass parts and a little red wagon and a team of pugs emerge. As Carmel natters on the pugs make a bee-line for the greatest shade (Clyde's shadow) and settle down on their tummies, panting. Carmel gets three iced dog bowls out of a small cooler, and set them before the pugs*

Well, I you beat us here. We didn't make very good time, the girls kept over heating and we had to pull over. I do hate to be a bother, but could someone help me with the water?

*helps the bunny with the water*

Better late than never. We're just having a cup of tea and then the action will start. I have some milk and cookies here if you'd like them.

*rubs posterior*

My hands have recovered, but I'm not sure about the rest of me!

More anyone?

*passes around a plateful of the buttered, toasted teacakes*

*hopes she doesn't end up getting scalped*

*sips tea*

I'll have a quick teacake.

*Munch*

Lovely, well I'll nip back down to the road and start a little fire, see if we can confuse these natives as to where we are.

*Rides back to the road, where he slips off of the horse, gathers some brush together and lights it. Adds some damp grass to the top so that it smokes nicely*

Suppose I'd better watch this for a bit and then put it out, that ought to fool those barbarians.

Has an argument with Pierrot about who is going to do what and then flies NE to search the Badlands*

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*Puts the fire out and rides back over ot the main group*
Well, that should lead them wrong. Shall we make our move while they are off the scent?

*packs away the things and puts earth on to the fire*

Ready when you are, as long as Bonnie is too.

Ready!