h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a narrow path leads straight and true out of the clearing. It has had some use recently*

*From in the distance, down the straight path beyond the clearing, hoofbeats are heard. They stop, some distance from the clearing and all is silent for a while. Then, the odd rustling can be heard from the trees and bushes surrounding the cottage. Sharp eyes might glimpse flashes of very large simians carrying rifles. After a few moments, nothing more can be seen and the clearing quiets into silence again.*

*a tobacco couloured horse can be glimpsed amongst the tree eating grass*

*a tobacco stained mare ridden by a jello with a painful look on his face gallops down the trail followed by hooting and howling Apes*

*several hoof prints with an RRR stamped into the metal of the shoes can be easily discerned on the trail*

*the stagecoach is now on a straight narrow road, and the greathorses come to a halt, awaiting further instructions*

*Amos lies still for a moment and listens to the dinimishing sound of retreating monkeys*

All clear.

Whew!

*lets go of the traces and touches the ground* That was some ride! Good driving Mr. Digby.

Hey, Dandy! *Billy's chestnut trots up, followed by the other loose horses, and he mounts up* Z, X, sea, you in there? Saddle up, we got some scouting to do. Other riders, surround the coach.

Carmel scratches her head.

'Orchestra Stalls'? Oh, dear, is this something I'm not meant to know about?

*The coach now still, Carmel clamors up to where her wagon is stowed and finds her cell phone.*

I know, I'll call Mac and ask what the girl's strike comand is. I have to ask him to tape "Greg The Bunny" for me, anyway.

*The moment Carmel cheerfully identifies herself there is an angry buzzing from the phone*

Now, now, I know I did not have permission to take the dogs, and I do hate to be a bother, but really it was entirely their own idea...

Phone - angry buzzing.

Editing the game? Why yes, I've...looked at it...

Phone - angry buzzing.

Mac, please, would you just tell me the strike comand for the girls?

Phone - laughter.

That is very unhelpful, Mac.

Phone - brief, uninteligible conversation, then a dial tone.

Oh, yes, but...hello? Oh, bother, I've lost service. All he said was the word I need comes from the film "The Boys From Brazil." I've never seen it as I understand it's quite scary. Oh, dear, do you think he'll remember to tape "Greg"?

*as Carmel Bunny picks up her cell phone the sound of a large boulder crashing through the undergrowth if heard above the trail. As the Salonista's look up they can see a number of Jellos and Apes on the upper trail which overlooks their position at this point*

*the first boulder tumbles down the slope crashing from tree to tree on a crazy zig zag course no one knowing where it will end up. The boulder misses the coach by several feet but hits a large Goo Spruce infront of the coach which is felled blocking the trail*

*a ragged fusilade of shots spatters around the coach*

*another boulder starts rolling down the slope*

*suddenly, from behind the apes, montana rises up and starts spraying them all with a wide swath of flaming cool whip*

ALRIGHT, JELLOS, UNLESS YOU WANT PRIMATE S'MORES, GIVE LIL BACK NOW!

*cowers*

*drops rifle in surprise. Slowly raises hands*

SALON WOMAN CREEP QUIETER THAN SNAKE IN GRASS . MAYBE NICE LADY FALL FOR THE OLD "THERES ONE OF MY BRAVES BEHIND YOU" PLOY ?

*looks over her shoulder hopefully*

*sea glances at the pistol, then pulls out an additional box of ammo*

here, this should fit it.

*sea leans out the window and fires at the apes and jellos over the roof with one hand, and reaches for her horse's reins with the other*

That was exciting!

*having nippily changed cartridge for boulder busting bolts and shattering a few that came rather too close to the coach and horses, watches the developing scenario with Indian Joe and Montana, keeping Indian Joe well within her sights*

One of these bolts should spread him nicely between here and the Atelier

*Comes hareing up the path, holding his hat to his head. There is a distinct bullet hole in the crown*
Oh dear, you moved quicker there than I expected. Do you need a hand moving this tree out of the road then?

[Zero and X return fire. Can't think of anything more interesting at the moment. Whee.]

*Sol would appear to have fallen quietly asleep on the roof sometime earlier. Despite fighting, souting and other alarums, she continues to doze, pausing only to whisk a hand at what she assumes is a mosquito.

She starts to snore. In a ladylike manner, of course.*

*Turns her back on for a moment and speaks quietly to Caer.*

I don't think it's a good idea to tell Carmel the command. It may put the pugs in danger. Once this is over and done, though, it might be fun to see what happens when they are ordered into 'action'.

No problem Witty, I haven't seen Boys from Brazil either and I'm sure Mac has his reasons for not telling her.