h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Any Takers? (No magic on the field of Honor)

Sounds interesting, challenge accepted. * Bishop Odo, The Indigo Knight - Wielder of Blunt Instruments and Keeper of The Secret Seal, searches desperately through pockets to find spare gauntlet to throw down.*

Do we wait for sunrise then?

Just had a thought, could anyone point me in the direction of the armoury, otherwise it could be a very brief duel!

Through all the way to the right corridor, down to the cellars, and there it is!

*Sir Stu pops a doughnut*
"Yummie quick energy!"
good luck to you...this is my first time.

*pulls out his two handed spoon*
"Are you ready?"

*Squints through the early morning fog*

"Ready and willing."

*abandons sharp bladed sword after cutting finger and pulls out gnarld oak club*

"have'at' yer"

"THEN LET ME EAT CAKE!!!" (War-Cry from Marie-Aintoinette)
*Charges crazily while waving spoon over head*

*stumbles...*
*falls.*
*rolls.*

"Haha! I am now a 276 pound rolling fat man heading right to you"
"My inertia alone might paralyze you!"

Just a suggestion, but you should have an inventory for all of you weapons and/or armour. It helps define your charecter. i.e. my stuff is all about food, cause I am a chef...

Inventory now appears in my space,

* turns funny colour * ARRRRGH,

* thinks a bit, then raising left eyebrow slightly, sidesteps neatly out of the way of rolling body*

* swipes at passing blur with club...*

* misses..... turns and advances brandishing club *

" an interesting opening move, but I am still on my feet, now watch out"

*eventually stops rollingl...*
*gets up..kinda groggy*
"It was improvisation"

*Brandishes his new Thingite Spork!*
*Holds his dish shield up*
*Walks over and takes a quick jab at Bishop Odo's knee*

"I am getting hungry, and I am willing to eat anything organic! HAHA!"

*Tummy rumbles...*

" Oh the noise.....I can't bear it "

*stuffs edge of cloak into ears*

*dodges out of the way of spork and while Sir Stu is off balance lunges forward and bashes him on the head with club*

"Take that you.......... Ouch"

"I told you I was hungry!"
*Takes club and promptly eats it in one big bite*
"Yummy...Honey Oak"

"BURP!"

*With Bishop Odo being offenseless, grabs egg beater and whips some eggs together*

"Just you taste this Creme Broulee. It will simply be devine!"

*puts ingredients away*
*Gets out mythril fork and attacks Bishop Odo*

"Yarg! You better like my Creme Broulee when I finish it!"

* Darts roung Sir Stu letting of a smoke bomb and whipping the Crème Brulee and spoon from his hands *

"Mmm, delicious although a little more vanilla needed perhaps?"

* still screened in vast cloud of indigo smoke lassoes mithral fork from Stu's hand and jabs at his ankles with sword *

"Thought you'd fooled me with the pudding trick did you, well I'm not quite that easily distracted"

*evil cackle*

*The Fork just sticks in...*
"HAHA! Thank you generous layer of fat."

*Bishop Odo seems to be at a loss for words, and so Sir Stu takes this advantage and takes some of the rotting beef, and in the confusion, throws it into Bishop Odo's mouth*

"Haha! You just got infected!"

"Ruin my Creme Broulee...I will make something else!"
"What would you like?"
*Takes out pen and paper and waits for order from Bishop Odo*

"May I recommend the House Special, grilled salmon with a light garlic butter sauce, and your choice of 3 side dishes?"

* wipeing beef out of face *

"the oldest trick in the book, luckily my innoculations are up to date"

* takes advantage of menu compostion to bash Sir Stu over the head with shield *

"When I have finished beating you I'm sure a feast will be in order, no fish though please!"

*throws dagger at parchment and slices through apron strings *

* wiping beef out of face *

"the oldest trick in the book, luckily my inoculations are up to date"

* takes advantage of menu composition to bash Sir Stu over the head with shield *

"When I have finished beating you I'm sure a feast will be in order, no fish though please!"

*throws dagger at parchment and slices through apron strings *

*Falls forward while holding the back of his head in pain*
*Elbow lands right in eye of Bishop Odo*

"Oww...(thump) (thump) man that hurts"

sorry about the beef thing....I am removing from my inventory and replacing it...With a Herring!

*staggers up and gives Bishop Odo the thumbs up. Unfortuanately, Bishop Odo has not quite recovered from that nasty elbow in the eye*

*Quickly looks around*
"Ah-ha"
*Mixing quickly and heating quickly as Bishop Odo recovers*

"I made us some herbal tea. Would you like some? My head is killing me, and this is my special herbal tea that tastes really really good, and is good for relaxation "

*Takes a sip of the now hot tea."
"MMM...delicious and warm."

*Offers the same cup to Bishop Odo*
"I promise it's not poisoned or anything"

Poison?
That's my area.
*sits down into the bleachers and watches*

Fair battle you two.

"Not Herring, a fiendish plot."

* stares dazedly from blackening eye *

" Truce for now then, if you're making tea I'll provide the s"

* backs off to await the next move, poised ready for any tricks *

*sniffs tea and decides to risk a mouthful*

"Mmm, quite nice really"