h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Mutant Junkie Cucaracha Mafia?

In Cal's journal, Paulie. He has the cucaracha mafia and I have the poultry olympics...

On Cape Cod, we have wild turkeys who jump on top of cars!~

(unfortunately, they then peck the heck - or is that heck the peck?) out of them~

"No gold medal turkey soup for YOU!"

(quote from "It's A Show About Poultry")

I didn't get a chance to visit Cape Cod this summer.

I read somewhere about the Air Force's simulation tests to see if the windows on their aircraft could withstand the impact of birds flying at them. Unfortunately, they used *frozenchickens* for their simulation.

Yup! You take a FRESH chicken and fire it from an air cannon at the flight deck windows.....somebody substituted a FROZEN one, and it wrote off a transport, as it went clean through the aircraft!

free range artillery?

This is a true story, Batty. It proves that military intelligence is an oxymoron.

Oh that we've known... much like Bush's program of fiscal responsibility it's just more proof he's a sh

I'm trying to forget that he exists, but people keep mentioning him.

I'm just glad to see many of the idiots who helped put him in office now want to kick him in the cojones as well.. I say "me first!!!!"

Cojones? You mean he GREW some??

Or perhaps he had a transplant from Oliver North, or someone.........hence the urge to wear uniform!

Aw, Bush just needs to drink a few huge vats of carrot juice. That'll restore his eyesight, and maybe he'll see the light.



Um, Batty, what's all this about a dalmatian that keeps chasing your chiken? What's the dog's philosophical stance on rabbits?

they're good with ketchup?

Not Bush... no amount of sugar could make that medicine go down! Not that anyone would want him to..

I don't know why Al Gore and John Kerry wanted to be President.
The country's challenges keep getting more and more formidable...

I don't know if the challenges are more formidable other than the current moron who put them there and is ill equipped to handle the fall out..

I'll grant you that FEMA head Brown would not have been around to mess up the New Orleans rescue if Kerry or Gore had been in the White House.

And, I wasn't talking about Iraq as a challenge. We will never know for sure how Gore or Kerry would have handled the Saddam Hussain question...

This is true but one thing we can be fairly certain of is they wouldn't have shut out the UN like a bad dog and gotten more strength behind them.

Something had to be done. But it was handled very poorly from the beginning when he got his panties in a wad over the UN not doing as he wanted and having the audacity to think of the world as a whole.

Of course that's just one bat's opinion..

Sometimes bats have well-reasoned opinions.

Goodness to Battsie!

Incompetence, cronyism, theft, bribery, rudeness.........and that's just the people who open the letters at the GOP HQ! The higher up the ladder you go, the more you will need an oxygen mask - to keep out the stench of curruption! (Not that I am bitter or anything, you understand..............)

Say it isn't so, derbyshirelad.

I was completely uninformed about any of this! My fantasies have been dashed to smitheroons. Great googaly moogaly!