h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think she intends to do nice things to you, Cal.

*very * *shiver*

Have to treat my priest right!

Yep, plenty of TLC for the priests.

Care to become a man of the cloth, Paulie? Preferrably just a loincloth..

You must be desperate!

Not at all.. I like teddy bears in loin cloths as much as the next

Teddy bears in loin cloths?

Where? Where?

*gives Paulie an and hands him a loincloth*

No, Batty, I think a loincloth would be too much clothing for this time of year.

Well I certainly have no problem with you going fresh & breezy..

Gotta love any church that pays homage to hedonism..

I'm a State Registered Hedonist, me.......

Three years 'hard', down the Goat & Compasses Technical Lounging and Sunbathing School. I majored in Slow Massage and Applied Almond Oil. The Goat & Compasses? Well, it's actually in the upstairs loungue, over the pool hall.......but the instructors (actually, the rather busty barmaids) are fabulous. I kept failing electives, so I could re-take! The 'Goat' serves a damn good 'McGlurktini', too (one part London Gin, three parts McGlurk's Old Sage, No 42 Blend, Derbyshire Sipping Aphrodisiac)

Yum! Can we switch the gin for citrus vodka? I've always thought gin tasted like perfume..

Oh....all right, then. We'll lose the taste of juniper, but the citrus vodka will give it a BIG kick.

The 'DL Online Massaging and Relaxation Service' is offering a 2-for-1 special this weekend. One neck maggage and a free 'Patented Thigh Loosener' for .47 (Euros, Sterling, Dollars..it's all the same to my Mongolian accountant) - remember, if you want your thighs REALLY loose, you have to drink McGlurk's!

A cavity search? WITH A CUCUMBER?

Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!

Hide the virgins, the cucumbers have attacked!!!

oh wait a minute.. I don't know any virgins..

Oh yes you DO! I distinctly remember fulfilling an order (or was that a virgin?) for two cases of 'McGlurk's Magical Virginity Restorer' ("A Surprise In Every Bottle!"). The invoice was addressed to the Church of the Holy Tail......oooohh! Wait a minute...............

The scrawled signature in the delivery box says.....'Pandora'. Do you know anything about this? Is she making out she's something she ISN'T?

nah.. she seemed delighted to not have that particular burden..

Gee you should try sending some of that stuff to the Temple of We tried an experiment involving one parishoner's patented revirginator but well... we try not to talk about it..