h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What an idea! I'll get the sales force (aka Great Uncle Norman) on to it, right away. The stuff really works........as Great Uncle Norman says, 'One swig and they're as tight as a duck's (expletive deleted)'. And if you've ever seen a duck's expletive deleted, you'll know that it's TIGHT!!

The DL Tupentine and Aphrodisiac Distillery turns out many useful products. 'Nurk's Nut Nourisher' would grow hairs on a billard ball (or, conversely, billard balls on a hare). One of our most popular lines is 'THE Malt' an innocuous looking, pale amber liquid, which has some vague relationship to barley and water. Sometimes there is a mix-up and the 'Nurk's' gets sent out in 'THE Malt' bottles. Funny....we've never had any complaints....................

perhaps you could sent an offering to the great God of - not that there are any billiard balls or s hanging around the temple..

I'll send a case around (the first case is FREE). I'm sure the Temple will have fun with it......

Now, I must off to my lonely bed; we acolytes have to keep up our strength, you know. The eunuch is curled up in 'his' basket, sound asleep. I've checked the 'slightly disturbed' front door (it's like an 'alarmed' door, but much cheaper). If I find that any one of you has sneaked down for a midnight snack of the 'Death by Chocolate' cake which I have just put in the 'fridge - it will be a good paddleing for you in the morning!!

Woohoo!!!!!

*makes a mad dash for the fridge*

Since there are chocolate fingerprints all over the 'fridge, and several sheepish looking faces around here.........I must conclude that you messy lot like chocolate?

Well, I'm changing tack tonight........an even NAUGHTIER midnight snack. Inside the 'fridge you will find a series of tall sundae glasses. They contain whipped, heavy cream into which has been folded (with a wooden spoon) fresh blueberries. The dessert is topped with grated 70% cocoa butter dark Belgian chocolate, and a thickened sauce made from Drambuie! ONE EACH................

*walks in carrying a bucket of deep-fried hedgehog with side orders of whomped rat and wombat fritters*

I brought dinner! Who's hungry??? I stopped by KFH.

Oooh! Blueberries!

*blinks*


aren't hedgehogs and endangered hog? or is that hedge

perhaps you could sent an offering to the great God of - not that there are any billiard balls or s hanging around the temple.> [Batty]

Fluffy Pink Rabbit may turn up there, Batty--if he can be bothered to rouse himself from my sofa.

That's an easy one to solve, Paulie. Tell him he's the main cour... guest at the temple for cassoulet..

You don't need rabbit for cassoulet, you silly . Chicken works fine. Say, do you still have Henny Penny?

Yeah but she'd probably need to stew all day.

That would still be better than putting FPR in a pot. Polyester *never* gets really tender, no matter how long you stew it.

true.. but how many things can you eat for dinner with built in dental floss?

The only decent way to cook 'hotchi witchu'(there are FOURTEEN words for hedgehog in the English language!)is baked 'en croute' so to speak....in a good thick coating of mud...that way the spines come off clean!

Hedgehog fritters for supper!

hmmmm... now if we just had a better recipe for the whomped rat.

I tried a giraffe Wellington, once - but ran out of pastry. Plus the fact that the gas oven I was building was so huge it broke local arms control regulations.....................

I am coming down with HT withdrawal symptoms!

*twitches the HT at DL to help him stop jonesing*

Perhaps you can ask Cal to help you with the Giraffe Wellington.. as I understand it his still does wonders!

hmmmm... tall and spiney.. would make a great centerpiece!

You might need to raise the roof a few feet.