Post Report: H2G2 Waterworks: Gift Shop

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The Waterworks

Yes, Christmas is coming, and many of us are wondering what gift we can get that special someone on H2G2. Well, worry no more, for the H2G2 Waterworks Gift Shop is now open!

A Postcard from the H2G2 Waterworks

Throughout the year you can buy normal presents, such as towels, postcards, keyrings etc., but for Christmas, why not get something more? Here is our Christmas Catelogue, full of suggestions for you to get your loved ones:

Why not get a £5 Waterworks Gift Voucher worth £4.99 for only £101?

The Beach

Christmas present
  • Available from the Beach is a range of sand of different colours, so why not make your own sand pictures?
  • Also available is a wide range of shells, including those used by designer mermaid fashion houses.
  • Also available is a recipe book on how to burn food like those cooked at the Beach's barbecue.
  • Take home memories of the beach's bouncy castle with the special-edition pogo stick.
  • Why not buy genuine driftwood? Perfect for making that water-feature in your garden look like it is surrounded by driftwood. Also available is gravel and sand.

The Swimming Pool

Aqua la vista, baby

Christmas is the time of year when every member of the family gather together, and discover why exactly it is that they only get together once a year. But why not come out on top in the traditional family arguments by owning one of the Waterworks' own High-Pressure water guns? Guaranteed to put out any log fire with one blast.

Also available are bottles of chlorine perfume.

The Fountain

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a letterbox
  • Yes, you've guessed it - why not buy a special water-proof Fountain Pen?
  • Also available is bottles of the Fountain's mineral water.

The Sewers

We sell a limited number of bottles of genuine sewage2.

Why not hire a real fairy to sit on top of the Christmas Tree?

We have also specially bred a race of giant, mutant Turkeys perfect for the largest Christmas dinners for only £253.

The Lifeguard Station

Why not get a tastefully shredded T-shirt decorated with the words "My friend was attacked by a shark and all that survived was this lousy blood-covered T-shirt"?smiley - shark

The Public Toilets

Toilet paper

Does your loved one stink of expensive perfume? Now they can stink of cheap eau de toilette from the Public Toilets for only £1. Yes, it's water. From the toilets. And you too can be wearing perfume from our exclusive "Stinky Stuff"TM range.

You can also buy cardboard toilet paper tubes with the logo "Used in the Waterworks Toilets" written on each, with an accompanying certificate of authenticity written on a sheet of toilet paper.

Related H2G2 Post Article Links
1Cash value 0.001p2Limited as no-one in their right mind would buy any.3Battery hens not included.

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